


Searching... For a Home

by HitsugayaKuchiki_HK (HisagiKirigakure)



Category: Bleach
Genre: Aizen plotting, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Cherry and Tsuku (pack foxes), Dreams and Nightmares, Family, Finding Family, Finding a home, Friendship, Grief, Hollows being assholes, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kaze being a chill demon, Momo being a needy bitch, Out of Control, Past Reflection, Place to belong, Reason for living, Shinigami/Zanpakutou Bond, Suicidal Thoughts, Zanpakuto communicating with each other, Zanpakutou Materialization, friends comforting friends, mainly nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:55:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23584981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisagiKirigakure/pseuds/HitsugayaKuchiki_HK
Summary: Toshiro and Renka struggle in Rukongai... Can they find somewhere they can call Home?
Relationships: OC/Shuuhei, Other possible pairings
Kudos: 2





	1. I Don't Belong

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Bleach or it's characters. That privilige belongs to Tite Kubo.  
> Renka is my OC.  
> Warnings: Slight self-harm is referenced. Take caution when reading.

Chapter 1 – I Don’t Belong

Toshiro writes his final words on the page before dropping the pen. His aching wrist has been battered and bruised along with the rest of his being. He couldn’t stand the pain anymore. Each and every day he accumulated more and more injury to his broken body. No one in Rukongai was pleasant. Much less with him. He was constantly bullied, not only by other kids, but also adults. If they didn’t bully him, then they ran in the opposite direction. They hated him because they were afraid of him.

_‘Why are they afraid of me? I haven’t done anything to any of them. Yet it seems to be that everyone’s afraid of me. Is it my silver hair? Or maybe it’s the colour of my eyes that frightens them. Could it be because I’m distant towards people I don’t know?’_

He thought about leaving. Even thought about killing himself by purposely getting devoured by a Hollow. But Momo was graduating from the Shinigami academy in a few weeks and Grandma was sick. Someone still needed to look after her.

_‘Grandma’s gotten very thin. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but she seemed to get thin when I started having those dreams.’_

Toshiro was worn out. His last scavenge for a loaf of bread really didn’t end well. The neighbouring kids attacked him from behind and snatched it from him. He collapsed on the wooden floor of the hut in which he slept. The white-haired boy let out one last sigh as he slowly lost consciousness. He later awoke after the same scarily vivid dream he had been having the past few weeks. The note still under his thin pillow.

_‘Hopefully Grandma didn’t see it.’_ He looked over at her. She was still asleep but breathing heavily. Her health was deteriorating. After hiding the letter under the floorboard where his head lay, he set out early to get some snacks – hopefully avoiding the bullies. Grandma had given him some soul money the day before, after the bread incident

…

Toshiro got to the shop a little way up the track without any hassle. There was no one about. Or maybe they were hiding. He got the treats and handed the money to the owner. Holding his hand out for the change, he was taken aback when the cashier put the money on the counter instead and turned away.

“Unless there’s anything else you want then leave.”

“HEY, YOU!” a female voice made Toshiro jump. As he turned in the direction of the sound, he found himself face to face (or rather face to boobs) with a woman’s bouncing bosom. As he crashed to the floor, the woman was scolding the shop keeper. “Is that any way to treat a paying customer? You ought to be ashamed of yourself.”

“I-I didn’t mean to be rude” he replied, stumbling on his words.

The blond-haired woman then turned to Toshiro who was still on the floor covering his face. She grabbed him by the collar and lifted him to eye level. “If you wanna become a man then stop crying and stand up for yourself.”

“I’m not crying and put me down.” As soon as he’s placed on his feet again, he ran off back to the hut.

The blond looked on. Curious. “So, he’s the one.”

…

That night, he had the same dream again. The feeling of being crushed and the lightening striking his hand. An Ice Dragon appeared in front of him. It seemed to be talking to him, but he couldn’t hear what it was saying. Though the Dragon had a booming voice, the white noise in the background made it unclear.

“My name is…” the rest was blocked out.

“I can’t hear you.” Toshiro replied, rather disturbed. He awoke suddenly. A cold sweat on his brow.

The first thing he saw, was the woman from before standing over him.

“Hey” she whispered. “You should conceal your spirit energy while you’re sleeping. You’ve got your grandmother shivering.”

Toshiro jerked his head to look at his freezing grandmother. Shocked and concerned, he forgot he’s in company. He jumped when she started talking again.

“You should become a soul reaper, boy. If you can’t control your spirit energy, then the power you possess will eventually kill your Grandma.”

“What do you mean?”

The woman soul reaper pointed to Toshiro’s heart. “You can hear a voice, can’t you? It’s calling out to you.”

Toshiro’s eyes widened in horror. It may be his ticket to get out of Rukongai, but does he really want to become a Soul Reaper? He always swore to himself that he wouldn’t, but if his spirit power is slowly killing his Grandma, the woman who had taken care of him all these years, then he’d have no choice but to go.

Trying to be polite he asked, “What’s your name?”

“I’m Rangiku Matsumoto. Squad 10 Lieutenant.” A beaming smile on her face showed that she’s proud of her rank.

“Well, Lieutenant, can I think about it?”

“But of course. I understand it is a lot to take in. Take as long as you need.” She gave one last reassuring smile before leaving. Probably as quick as she arrived.

…

Toshiro was still thinking about his visitor and his choice when Grandma woke up. “Good morning Grandma. How are you feeling?” His smile couldn’t mask his concerned tone.

“Ah, good morning Toshiro. I’m doing well this morning. How about you? Any nightmares last night?”

“I… um… Yes,” his mind was on other things.

“She came to see you last night didn’t she. The Soul Reaper.”

Toshiro shot his head up in shock before turning away again. “You knew, didn’t you? That my energy is strong. Too strong for you to handle.” His voice pained.

Grandma smiled in attempt to reassure the young boy. “Don’t worry about me Toshiro. In order to learn to control your power, you should go to the academy. We will both feel better for it.”

“But I can’t leave you.”

“Toshiro, my child. I will be fine. I promise. I’m not going to stand in your way. And you can always come and visit. You know the door is always open to you and Momo.”

Toshiro nodded as a tear rolled down his cheek. Grandma placed her hand on his head before giving him a hug.


	2. Shino Academy

Chapter 2 – Shino Academy (6 months after Toshiro enrolled)

  
Toshiro was walking through the grounds of the academy, when he sees a familiar face. A 3rd year student sitting under the giant oak tree. Long black hair with an electric blue streak and steel grey eyes. He walked over hastily to the other student for a formal introduction.

“Hi” he said calmly. “My name is Toshiro Hitsugaya.”

“Hey Toshiro, I’m Renka Sojensu. How are you?” the female student introduced. A tender smile on her face. A smile which Toshiro returned. Other than Momo, this was his first possible friendship.

“I’m good. How about you?” Toshiro asked excitedly.

“Great. If you don’t mind me asking, what made you join the academy?” Renka enquired.

“I um… I need to learn to control my spirit energy. What about you? Why did you join?”

Renka sighed. “To find where I belong. To find my family. I know that my father is a Soul Reaper. I need to find him.” Pain clear on her face; Toshiro didn’t want to press the matter any further.

“My close friend graduated last year. He’s in Squad 5. He’s helping me to look for them.”

“Squad 5? That’s the same squad as my friend Momo. She also graduated last year,” Toshiro exclaimed; excited they had something in common.

Feeling the positive energy of the younger student, Renka smiled and let out a small chuckle. “I heard you passed the entrance exam first time. A child prodigy. What Squad are you hoping to join when you graduate?”

Toshiro thought back to when he was told to become a soul reaper. To the woman who came to see him. “I’m joining Squad 10. There is no other option.” A slight look of sorrow of his face. “The lieutenant saved my grandma in a way. And you? Which squad are you thinking?”

Renka looked to the sky, a smile on her face. “I’m thinking Squad 9. I’d be good on recon missions. I tend to find things some others seem to overlook. Also, they’re in charge of the Seireitei Journal.”

…

After a few hours of getting to know each other, Renka and Toshiro moved away from the large oak tree to go to their rooms.

“Well Toshiro, this is me. I got a test mission in the World of the Living tomorrow. Not sure how much sleep I’ll get tonight but I guess I should try,” Renka laughed.

Toshiro returns a light-hearted laugh of his own. “Yeah. Good luck tomorrow. We’ll catch up after?”

“Awesome. Under the oak tree again?”

“Sounds great. See you tomorrow Renka.” Toshiro strolled down the hall and Renka closed her dormitory door behind her. Smiling, she made her way to her futon and opened the book on her desk. After a few moments of reading, her eyes began to close.

…

The next day, Renka awoke early with a start. “Another nightmare… just what I needed” she sighed. She slowly got up and walked towards the kitchen sink to get a glass of water. Since a few years ago, she’d had premonition dreams. Always linked to the days upcoming events. She could always tell when something bad was going to happen but often was unable to prevent it. The first dream she had, a group of 1st years, including her friend Renji, were on a mission in the World of the Living when a group of hollows ambushed an attack. Killing numerous older students who were on lookout duty. 

Another sigh left Renka’s body as she got ready for her mission. “I hope there are going to be no problems today”. 

…

Once Renka had joined her class, an announcement was made.

“My name is Jushiro Ukitake. I’m the Captain of Squad 13 and I’ll be heading this test mission today along with my Lieutenant, Kaien Shiba.”

“A Captain and a Lieutenant?” a small recognisable voice sounded behind Renka. 

Shocked, Renka turned around. “Toshiro. What are you doing here?”

“I guess being a prodigy, they wanted to see how I’d handle the mission. Maybe that’s why both Captain and Lieutenant are here.”

“You have all been assigned into groups of 3,” the lieutenant exclaimed. “Please find your partners and we can be on our way.”

Looking around, Renka spots another student with the same symbol on his paper. “Hey. Guess you’re with us Sojiro.”

“Oh, hey Sojensu. Wait, since when are we on first name basis?” Sojiro chuckled as Renka shrugged. Turning to face the younger student Sojiro smiles. “You must be Toshiro.

Nice to meet you. I’m Sojiro Kusaka.”

“Pleasure to meet you Sojiro.”

“OK. Is everyone ready!? Let’s go.”

The student’s all followed Ukitake and Shiba through the senkaimon to the World of the Living where a grim sight awaited them. There was no barrier unit, and no barrier. Just a huge menos standing where the test was supposed to happen. Many students were afraid and turned to run however Renka, Toshiro and Sojiro stood firm.

“May we handle this Captain?” Sojiro enquired. Even though his voice was shaky, the look that emanated from his face and his aura was truly confident. “Please allow us to show you our power level.”

“It could be a good idea Captain. I mean you are here to see how I cope with the situation right?”

“Even Toshiro is exhibiting more confidence than those who ran. He’s a first-year student.”

Knowing that the students were not going to back down, Ukitake nodded silently.

Kaien smiled. “Just go careful out there.”

“Yeah Sojiro, don’t be an idiot,” Renka warned.

As the 3 students ascended to the battle ground, Sojiro charged recklessly towards the menos. With one swoop, the giant beast swatted him like a fly in mid-air making him hurtle across the field.

“Dammit Kusaka!” Renka cursed. There was no doubt in her mind that he was gone for good. She saw it in her nightmare the night prior and knew the outcome. She couldn’t let it distract her. “Toshiro!” As she signalled for him to attack from behind, the beast was ready to fire a cero. The red heat blasted towards Renka but failed to reach her thanks to her speed and agility. Renka nodded at Toshiro who swung his Zanpakuto. “Reign over the frosted heavens, Hyorinmaru.” From his blade, an ice dragon charged towards the menos and disintegrated its arm.

Whilst this was happening, Renka took advantage of the diversion to do a hado attack with incantation. “Sprinkled on the bones of the beast! Sharp tower, red crystal, steel ring. Move and become the wind, stop and become the Calm. The sound of warring Spears fills the empty Castle! Hado 63! Raikoho!” A bright yellow flash of lightning rains down on the menos destroying it immediately. 

Shortly after the battle had finished, the Captain and Lieutenant of Squad 13 joined Renka and Toshiro. Both were by Sojiro’s side. His body lifeless on the bloodstained grass. Toshiro was in shock. Shaking at the sight of Sojiro, and although Renka knew how she should react, she was used to death. It just made her numb inside. All she could do was comfort the younger student.

“Toshiro, you okay?” Renka wraps an arm around his shoulders in attempt to steady him. “There was nothing we could do. But now you know what happens if you recklessly charge into an attack. As soul reapers, we need strategy, not just power. You were brilliant out there and if you continue to hone your skills, you’ll become a Captain in no time. It may not be what you want at first, but with your current power, I reckon you’d be a seated officer as soon as you graduate.” Toshiro leans into Renka and lets out a small sob.

“She’s right you know.” Ukitake joins with the comforting. “As a Shinigami, there is a lot of death. Not everyone will survive every battle. We learn to come up with strategies in order to cope with losses. You did a great job with that menos. And the fact that you’re a first year who stood firm in the face of danger shows great courage.”

“How are you coping with this? The two of you were close, right?” Looking up at Renka, Toshiro sees the pain in her eyes but that’s not the emotion he feels emanating from her.

“I’m used to it. There’s not much that shakes me now.” Renka looks to the sky, though as she does, Lieutenant Shiba pipes up making her jump.

“At least you two are alive. Though as I say this, it occurs to me that humour may not be the best coping mechanism in this situation.” Renka and Toshiro turn towards Kaien and smile in turn.

“Sojiro Kusaka was a great guy, but his idiotic impulses are what killed him. It’s a lesson in context,” Renka sighed.

“We should get back to the Seireitei. I have called for Squad 4 to come,” Captain Ukitake stated.

The four make their way back over to the senkaimon and step through.


	3. Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 3 – Behind closed Doors

  
Later that evening, Renka was sat in her room with the venetian blinds closed. Silent tears rolling down her porcelain cheeks. Even though she knew it was coming, and she held it together on the battlefield, behind closed doors was another matter. She wasn’t exactly close to Sojiro, but she had known him for a long time. The first time she met him, she had a feeling he was a fool. Always joking around only to make everyone around him feel better.

In her hand, Renka held a band she made a few years back. One she eventually gave to Sojiro after he stopped bullies pushing her over. Until today, Renka had no idea that Sojiro kept it on his wrist. Perhaps that’s why his death hit her harder than it should have. 

Knock, knock. 

As clear as she could without making it obvious she had been crying, Renka called out. “Who is it?”

A small voice from behind the door replied. “It’s Toshiro. Sorry for the intrusion but may I come in?”

After clearing the tears away from her bloodshot eyes, Renka slowly slides the door open. “Hey Toshiro. What’s up?”

“Tell me it’s none of my business, but I can feel your spirit energy fluctuating. It’s hit you hard hasn’t it?” Toshiro’s voice and face showed concern for his friend.  
Again, Renka felt pearls of water trickling from the corner of her eyes. Eyes which were still stinging from the previous bout of tears. Renka collapsed onto her knees and held her head in her hands. “I’m sorry Toshiro. I don’t even know why I’m crying,” she sobbed.

“Don’t apologise. You were there to comfort me earlier. You know I’m here for you.” The younger boy smiled down at Renka before placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “How about a hot tea?”

Renka looked up at Toshiro with a sad smile on her face. “That sounds good to me.”

Toshiro went to put the teakettle on the stove. Turning around, he saw Renka leaning against the door. Her head resting on her forearm. It was then he realised the dried blood. With a gasp, he opened his mouth but forced himself to keep quiet. ‘I’d have to tread carefully if I’m going to find out what happened,’ he thought. “Renka,” he paused till she turned to face him. “Do you want to talk? Or shall we just keep company?”

A frown reached the older girl’s face. “I’m sorry. This isn’t how I usually behave in this situation. I’ve seen death loads, and this is the first time it’s caught me this bad.”  
“Were you close?” Toshiro asked, curious of Renka’s relationship with the departed.

“Not incredibly. We’ve known each other since before coming here. Back in Hanging Dog, I was bullied a fair bit. A gang of teens started tormenting me and were pushing me around. Sojiro… he drove them away and made sure I was okay. Other than Renji, he was my only friend.” Renka looked down at her bracelet again, thinking back to how things were. “I gave him this bracelet shortly after. ‘til today, I had no idea he kept it with him at all times. I can’t help but wonder whether there was something he didn’t get chance to say.” When Renka looked back up at Toshiro, she noticed that he was trying to keep his gaze away from the fresh scars on her arm. Decades of pain and emotional hurt built up as tally marks on her pale skin.

The water in the kettle started to boil, and Renka silently strolled over to finish making the tea which Toshiro had prepared. She placed both cups on the coffee table before speaking again. “Not having a family, led me to become depressed. I started to harm myself. My nightmares didn’t help much either. That’s why I seemed calm and collected on the battlefield today.”

“Your nightmares? Why, what happens in them?” Toshiro enquired, even more curious than before.

Renka sighed. “Exactly what you saw today. I knew it was going to happen, but I’ve learnt from past experiences, there’s absolutely nothing I can do to change the outcome. Even if I let Captain Ukitake and Lieutenant Shiba know, we’d have still been sent to the field and witnessed what we did.” Silent tears threatened her silver-slate eyes again, and she furiously wiped them away before they had chance to fall.

Toshiro sat silently for a few moments before taking a piece of parchment from his uniform. “I wrote this shortly before coming to the academy.” He held it out to Renka who cautiously opened it and read what she figured to be a suicide note. The young student hung his head, shameful of what he wrote, but he thought that if Renka was going through the same, she’d understand.

“Oh Toshiro.” Renka pulled him into a warm embrace. “We have each other now. I’ll look after you and you know that.”

A lump in Toshiro’s throat told him without a doubt that Renka was telling the truth. He huddled into her before asking, “Could I stay here tonight? We can keep the nightmares away by staying close.” 

“Of course, Toshiro. I’d be glad of that,” Renka smiled.

…

After only a couple of hours sleep, Renka and Toshiro awoke to a knock on the door. “RISE AND SHINE SLEEPY HEAD!” A familiar voice called from the hallway.

Renka groaned. “God dammit Renji. It’s 7am. What are you doing here this early?”

“Is that any way to greet a friend? I have some news which may interest you. Family matters.”

Renka suddenly forgot about the exhausted strain on her body as she jumped up and ran to the door, almost catching her calf on the coffee table. “You found something out? What? Tell me.” Impatience grew as she pulled Renji into her room and closed the door after him.

“Should I go?” Toshiro asked from behind his messy white hair. 

‘Bed head Toshiro is kinda cute, almost like a small yeti’ Renka mused. “No, stay. I consider you to be my family too.”

The young students smile beamed. Happy to have formed a close friendship with his fellow student.

“So, what have you found out?” Renka repeated.

“Well,” Renji started. “It’s not definite but I think I’ve found a Shinigami you closely resemble in looks. Though you seem to be kinder than this person. Not many have slate coloured eyes and long Black hair.”

“Who? Who have you thought this about?” Renka insisted.

A small frown emerged on Renji’s face. Knowing that in the past, this soul reaper had looked down on him. After taking a deep breath, he continued. “I think you might be the daughter of Byakuya Kuchiki. Captain of Squad 6 and Head of the Kuchiki clan.”

Both Renka and Toshiro’s eyes widened in shock. “Seriously, I could be a descendent of a noble family?”

“As much as I want you to find your true family, I hope you’re not a Kuchiki. The man is arrogant and…” he paused for a moment to think of the way he was going to phrase the next part, finally settling on, “I’ve already lost one dear friend; I refuse to lose my sister too.”

“Renji, you’d never lose me,” Renka said to reassure the red- haired soul reaper. “And don’t worry. I’ll still be me. Noble or not. You are my brother, no matter what.” A confident smile graced her face. She pulls Renji into a tight embrace before also pulling Toshiro in too. “Same goes for you Toshiro.”

…

A few days went by, and Renka and Toshiro were both called upon to see the Captain Commander and founder of the Shinigami academy, Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto.

“What do you suppose it’s about?” Toshiro worried, nervous of the outcome.

“Well, it’s only the two of us who have been requested so it can’t be bad, right? Maybe it’s something to do with the Menos attack.”

As they approached the Squad 1 barracks, they noticed Lieutenant Shiba waiting outside. A serious smile on his face. “Ah welcome, Sojensu, Hitsugaya. So glad you could make it.”

“Lieutenant Shiba. Is this about the incident in the World of the Living?” Renka enquired.

“Oh, I can’t tell you that… but I have been informed that I must escort you both to the Captains meeting,” the familiar officer chuckled.

“Captains meeting? Must be serious,” exclaimed Toshiro.

“Certainly is. Not only Captains, but all the Lieutenants will be there as well.” When he looked towards Renka, Kaien’s smile faded seeing her pain. “How are you holding up? Losing a friend can be tough.”

“I’m getting there. I guess I’m not as good as I thought, when it comes to hiding my feelings.” Renka looked on as she walked, and they soon reached the entrance to the meeting room.

A few moments later, Captain Commander Yamamoto was heard. “ENTER!” The two students took a deep breath before stepping through the grand doors.


	4. Student News

Chapter 4 – Student News

  
As the double doors opened, Renka and Toshiro stepped through with Lieutenant Shiba who then stood a step back from his Captain. All 13 Squad Captains stood in two lines, one either side of the hall with the Captain-Commander at the head of the room with his own Lieutenant. Looking around, Toshiro found the familiar Lieutenant of Squad 10 with a soft smile on her face. Renka found the Captain of Squad 6 and though her eyes were drawn towards him, she found it difficult to focus.

“Toshiro Hitsugaya, Renka Sojensu. As students of the Shino Academy, it is rare that I would call you both to a Captain’s meeting.” The old Captain-Commander spoke. “However, your exceptional bravery has been witnessed by the Captain and Lieutenant of Squad 13. Your technique for defeating the Menos Grande which severely injured the barrier unit and killed your fellow student was remarkable. I have granted early graduation for you both with seated positions assigned.”

Shocked, Renka and Toshiro looked at each other and then back to Captain Yamamoto.

“May I ask which Squads we are assigned to?” Renka carefully pursued.

The Captain-Commander opened his eyes slowly. “Renka Sojensu, you will be 3rd Seat of Squad 9 and Toshiro Hitsugaya will be 3rd Seat of Squad 10 should you accept. Both of you are incredibly talented and I believe these are the Squads which you both desired to be in.”

Both students bowed. “Thank you Sir. I accept my position,” Renka smiled.

“I too am thankful and accept this offer.”

“Very well.” Yamamoto boomed. “You may go back to your dormitories for tonight. Tomorrow you will graduate and become seated officers. Your Lieutenants will come get you at 9am. Lieutenant Shiba, if you will.”

The students bowed once more before being escorted out of the grand hall.

…

Making sure they were out of earshot, Renka turned to Toshiro after letting out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. “First family news, and now full graduation and officer positions tomorrow. I honestly don’t know if I’m ready for this.” Heart pounding in her chest, Renka felt like she was on the verge of an anxiety attack. “It’s happening too fast.”

Toshiro looked down to the ground and agreed in silent nod. When he looked up, he found that his friend Momo was walking towards him.

“Shiro, what are you doing here?” The young soul reaper exclaimed.

With a sigh of exasperation, Toshiro groaned. “Ugh, Momo. Why do you always insist on calling me ‘Shiro’?”

Momo shrugged. “Force of habit I guess. Now, what are you doing here?”

“We were called to see Head Captain Yamamoto. Early graduation.”

“Early graduation…?” Momo echoed, shocked. “You’ve only been at the academy for 6 months.”

“Yeah well. I heard I’m some sort of child prodigy.” Toshiro replied, almost boastingly. “Anyway, we gotta get going. I’m tired and busy days are ahead. See you around Momo.”

“Yeah, see you later Sh – Toshiro”

…

That night, Renka was uneasy. Though she slept, her dreams were haunted by destruction and blood. Different from anything else she had ever envisioned; this wasn’t based in the near future. More like a few decades. Only being able to tell due to Toshiro having grown up and wearing a Captains haori. The culprits were masked so there was no way of her knowing who they were. As she turned around, a sharp pain coursed through her body. She looked down and saw blood pouring from her chest. The warm blood ran in contrast to her cold body as she fell and lost consciousness.

That was when she awoke, breathing heavily. She glanced at the clock. 7.30am. Just enough time to get ready. She pulled herself up off her futon and walked to the kitchen to prepare a green tea before entering the bathroom to shower. Looking in the mirror, she caught sight of dry blood in the centre of her chest. The exact same place she was attacked in her nightmare. ‘What is happening?’ She washed the area only to find a cross-shaped wound. “What the hell?”

Trying to put the image out of her mind, Renka carried on getting ready when the teakettle began to whistle. She poured the boiling water into the prepared tea and sat back down on her futon with it. Shortly after, there was a knock on her door.

“I’m coming.” Renka leapt up and slid open the door. On the other side, a young-ish man, probably not much older than Renji, stood. Short, spiked hair and a facial tattoo adorning the number 69 were among the first features that caught her eye.

“Hello, I am Lieutenant of Squad 9 Shuuhei Hisagi. I know I’m a little early, but I just wanted to check how prepared you are.”

“Nice to meet you Lieutenant Hisagi. I’m Renka Sojensu, but I guess you know that. Don’t worry about being early. I’m ready.” Renka lets out a small chuckle as the man in front of her smiles.

“Please, call me Shuuhei. Unless we are in the presence of the Captains, there’s no need to be so formal.” Shuuhei’s eyes glimmered when the light shone through the blinds and caught them. “As your Lieutenant though, I’m going to ask, why’d you choose Squad 9?”

Renka had to tear her eyes away when she noticed she was gazing at her new boss. Shuuhei’s smile grew mischievously. “It wasn’t because of me, was it?” he teased seeing Renka’s face blush.

Pretending not to be caught off guard, Renka takes a deep breath and replies, “Squad 9 are first call for recon missions, right? I guess I tend to find things that some may overlook. Plus, I hear you need more people for the Seireitei Journal.” ‘Great recovery Renka. Though I can’t deny that Shuuhei was right.’ She silenced her thoughts as she looked up at Shuuhei. “I’m sorry, how rude of me. I haven’t offered you a drink.” She took the still hot kettle and prepared a drink for Shuuhei. Passing it to him, she blushed again as his fingers brushed across her hands.

“Thank you, Renka.” Shuuhei slowly had a sip of his tea before continuing to talk. “Are you a writer?”

“Yes, well, mostly creative writing. But I can write articles too. Stories are just my way of escaping reality when it all gets too much. Kinda like a coping mechanism I guess.”

“Does it work?” Shuuhei asked, keeping Renka’s gaze.

Renka’s mouth was suddenly dry and she had to take a drink before answering. ‘Come on Renka. Pull yourself together.’ She nodded. “Sometimes, yes. To be honest, the past few days I have doubted my creative abilities. After what happened with the test mission.” Renka needed to force herself to look away as she felt pools of water forming in her eyes. Tears she had not shed since that night, fell once again down her pale cheeks.

Shuuhei held out a hand to comfort his new recruit. “I know as much as you, the dangers of test missions.” He gestured to the scars on his right eye and cheek. “I was leading a group of first years when a hollow broke through the barrier killing the unit and one of my friends. I too, lost faith in my abilities but those 3 students who helped me to survive are now my best friends and great fighters. I probably wouldn’t be where I am now if it weren’t for Renji, Momo and Izuru.”

Renka looked up at the mention of her friend’s name. A small smile graced her face before she grabbed her journal from the table beside her. Opening it up to a picture she drew a few years ago, she bit her lip before passing it to Shuuhei. “I had a feeling I recognised you. I have these scarily intense nightmares at times. The first time it happened, was the night before the mission you are talking about. Renji told me afterward what happened.” Shuuhei looked at the journal in front of him and to the picture of his younger self.

“This is… incredible. How did you manage to get so much detail from one dream?”

Renka shrugged. “Only a couple of aspects are usually clear in my visions. For example, for this one, all I saw clearly was you and Renji. I know it was a hollow that attacked, but ask me to draw it, I would have no chance.”

Shuuhei looked at Renka with awe, before they were interrupted by a knock on the door.


	5. The New Living Quarters

Chapter 5 – The New Living Quarters

  
Having been interrupted, Renka reluctantly answered the door. A tall, blond woman stood with Toshiro.

  
“Hello. I’m Rangiku Matsumoto, Lieutenant of Squad 10. You must be Renka.” Her warm smile aired kindness, and Renka felt the assurance that everything would be alright. Not sure whether it was due to seeing Toshiro ready to face anything and everything, or the fact that her own Lieutenant stood behind her. Their talk seemed to light a spark and she was raring to go.

Renka bowed. “Nice to finally meet you Lieutenant Matsumoto. I hope you’ll forgive me for being forward, but I want to thank you for bringing Toshiro to the academy. He told me it was thanks to you.”

The blond Lieutenant remained stunned for a second before broadening her smile. “Oh, it’s my pleasure, but Toshiro only needed a little encouragement. It was his decision.”

Shuuhei placed a hand on Renka’s shoulder. “It’s time to go. You ready?”

Renka saw the tenderness in his eyes as she nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be,” she said, replying with confidence. She grabbed her journal off the table and her bag before taking one last glance at her room.

The two Lieutenants started walking to the Squad barracks with Toshiro and Renka following on a couple of steps behind.

“How did you sleep last night? I know yesterday took its toll on you,” Toshiro whispered. “Your reiatsu was fluctuating more than usual.”

Renka looked down remembering the scar on her chest. “I had an uneasy night. Another nightmare but I’m fine now.” She faked a smile.  
Toshiro wasn’t convinced. He raised his eyebrow before speaking again in a hushed tone. “Seriously Renka. I’ve only known you for 2 weeks and I know that’s a lie. Something is different.”

Renka closed her eyes; though as soon as she did, the masked figure appeared again, and so did the chest pain. She stopped suddenly and gasped, holding her hand up to her chest. She didn’t notice that both Lieutenants had stopped to check on her.

“Renka? Are you alright?” Shuuhei placed a hand on her shoulder again.

With a look of worry and concern on everyone’s face, Renka knew she couldn’t keep it hidden for long. “I’m okay. Just a little anxious.”

Shuuhei looked sceptical but he knew he’d get Renka to tell him later if necessary. She trusted him with the journal and talking about the nightmares, after all.

Slowly walking on, the Squad 10 blond looked towards the slim and muscular Lieutenant of 9th Squad. A look which brought disappointment to Renka. ‘There’s no way he’d be interested in me. Not in that way. He has the sexy Lieutenant of 10 in his reach.’

‘Don’t be putting yourself down Renka.’ A familiar voice said in her mind.

‘Arashi, why would he even look twice at me when he has someone like Matsumoto?’

Renka’s Zanpakuto spirit sighed. ‘You didn’t see the way he looked at you just then, did you? You need to keep your eyes open, child. Believe in yourself.’

Renka looked up and saw Shuuhei’s warm and reassuring smile letting her know that everything was going to be alright. But there was more behind that smile. The feeling of compassion, the glisten in his eyes when he thinks she’s not looking. ‘And now see how he looks at Matsumoto. Not even half the emotion is there.’

Arashi was right. Whatever he feels for Matsumoto, it seems totally different.

…

‘Hey, hey. Come on partner. Don’t tell me you’re falling for the girl.’ Kazeshini taunted.

‘Seriously, do you ever know when to mind your own business Kazeshini.’ Shuuhei scolded.

‘She isn’t interested in you,’ he cackled. ‘She’d use you to get to the top. You know that, right?’

Shuuhei blocked out Kazeshini and glanced back to Renka. He approached, hopeful. “Excuse me Toshiro, could I have a moment with Renka please?”

“Of course, Lieutenant Hisagi,” Toshiro answered and glided up to walk with his superior.

“Shuuhei? What’s up?” Renka spoke casually.

“I,” Shuuhei had to pause for a moment before continuing. He needed to phrase it properly in his mind before speaking aloud. “This may not be the ideal time to speak of this, but is there any sense to your visions? I know you said they’re mainly unclear, but I… I was wondering, why me? You know, in that particular vision?”

Renka froze looking perplexed. It wasn’t something she had thought about asking herself. “I, don’t know. I mean, Renji was in the vision too. But I had never met you before. It’s the only time an unknown face was shown clearly.”

‘It’s a sign,’ Arashi’s voice was heard again. Renka quietly silenced the Storm Goddess.

‘Please, don’t build my hopes up Arashi. Not right now, anyway.’ She looked up at Shuuhei longingly. “Can I talk to you later? After I’ve graduated and settled in?”

“Yes. That’ll be okay with me.” Shuuhei’s smile widened.

Kazeshini rolled his eyes and laughed. ‘Look at yourself. You look like a doting puppy. Not very professional of you.’

‘Don’t ruin this Kazeshini.’ Shuuhei cursed inwardly in attempt to silence his own Zanpakuto; though he knew he was just adding fuel to the fire.

‘Oh, please. She’s way outta your league pal.’ The demonic spirit provoked.

…

Toshiro and Rangiku walked in silence for the most part until the young boy broke the silence, curiosity always getting the best of the white-haired graduate. “What is it like? Being Lieutenant?”

“Huh? Oh, it’s good. But our Captain likes to hide and passes most of the paperwork on to me.”

“Sounds a bit immature,” Toshiro mused.

“He can be at times. But he always knows when to reign it in and be serious. Being the head of the Shiba Clan, he needs to maintain his reputation.”

“The same Shiba Clan as Lieutenant Shiba?” Toshiro asked.

“The one and only,” Rangiku replied. “Squad 10 play a vital role in the Court Guards. We are in charge of keeping peace in the World of the Living.”

Toshiro stopped, noticing that Renka and Shuuhei had fallen back. The sound of Renka laughing caught his attention. A sweet laugh which he had only heard on their first meeting.

“Renka seems happy,” the blond Lieutenant spoke tenderly. “What was that about earlier? I don’t feel it was because she was anxious.”

Toshiro opened his mouth to speak and then thought better of it. “It’s not my place to say. If it were serious and necessary for us to know, she’d tell us.”

Rangiku looked questioningly. “You’re a smart young man Toshiro. Do you think it’s a cause for concern, going forward with her position?”

Toshiro sighed. “Lieutenant. I don’t want to speak out of turn, but I will say this clearly to you. Renka is the bravest person I know. She told me her past and she keeps moving forward. If there was any concern, it would be something that she chooses to work through independently.”

Rangiku nodded, a slight smile on her face. “Spoken like a true officer of the Court Guards. You’ll go far Toshiro.”

…

At Squad 9 barracks, Renka looked at Toshiro. “Well, this is it. See you later 3rd Seat Hitsugaya.”

“Soon, 3rd Seat Sojensu.” Both bow to each other with laughing smiles on their faces.

Renka followed Shuuhei to where she’d be staying. “You’ll have around 3 hours to relax and settle in to your quarters. Graduation is at 2pm in the Shino auditorium. Captain Tousen and I will attend with you.”

“Thank you Lieutenant.” Renka bowed, not really wanting Shuuhei to leave just yet.

‘Invite him in for a drink if you want more time with him,’ Arashi pursued.

Tightening her lips together in thought, Renka continued. “Are you free to come in for a drink? I was never good at fully settling in on my own.”

Shuuhei smiled but then he had to stop himself. “Sorry, I’ve got a couple more preparations to attend to.”

Renka saw his disappointment. “Okay. I’ll see you later then.”

The smile returned to the Lieutenant’s face. “I’ll look forward to it.”

Renka closed her door, and Shuuhei sank into the wall before grudgingly walking towards the Captain’s Office.

‘Before you even start… don’t.’ Shuuhei warned his Zanpakuto spirit who just smirked.


	6. Graduation

Chapter 6 – Graduation  
Renka looked in the mirror at her reflection. Admiring the new uniform which was on her wardrobe door when she arrived. A short-sleeved shihakusho as was the standard for 9th Squad. The only downside was her scars. Only Toshiro knew about her difficult past. She didn’t want to have them on show.  
‘You are allowed to customise a little.’ Arashi smiled, revealing herself in Renka’s mirror. A black-haired beauty wearing an ombre purple dress. A cloak of the same gradual colour over the top. Her startling emerald green eyes warming Renka with reassurance. “How about your tekkou?”  
“Really? You think that would be alright?” Renka asked.  
“That’s the reason you got them, right? And they are the Squad colour. They’ll be perfect,” the Zanpakuto spirit assured her. “Just try it.”  
Renka complied with her Zanpakuto’s request, pulling her tekkou to her elbows so as to cover her tally marks. A small smile graced her face as she saw Arashi’s approval.  
“As I said, perfect.”  
“Thanks, Arashi. What would I do without you?”  
As she went to tie her hair up, Renka felt once again the sharp pain coursing through her chest. She cursed inwardly as she breathed through it.  
“You know, you can’t hide it forever. The Lieutenants were worried earlier, and we both know that they won’t be convinced until you tell them.”  
“I know,” Renka replied, contemplating using her Kaido to heal it. “But even I don’t know how this happened. How am I going to explain it to Lieutenant Hisagi? Let alone the other officers,” Renka worried.  
“Just tell them the truth,” the Zanpakuto spirit guided. “Lieutenant Hisagi knows about your nightmares. Or even Captain Unohana? She may know what to do.”  
Renka thought for a moment. Some people were easy for her to connect with. “Hmm. Another person finding out may be a bit much right now.” She grabbed the journal out of her bag and opened it up to the next clear page. “I always found it easier to draw and write rather than talk.” Arashi smiled before returning to Renka’s inner world.  
…  
Toshiro glanced at the clock, sighing. He didn’t want to be graduating. He only went to the academy to learn to control his reiatsu. He took out the parchment from his bag and read it.  
Why does everyone hate me. They all punish me for simply existing. I can’t stand it! Momo left me to join that stupid academy. Leaving me to take care of Grandma. Once she goes, I’ll have no one. I…  
A knock on the door startled him. He folded the parchment again and hid it before answering.  
“Toshiro Hitsugaya. Captain Shiba wishes to see you in his office when you have a moment,” the messenger stated.  
Toshiro held back another sigh. “Of course. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”  
‘You are not still thinking of that are you master?’ Toshiro heard his Zanpakuto in his mind. The young boy closed his eyes to enter his inner world and converse with his Zanpakuto spirit.  
‘Hyorinmaru, I honestly can’t stop thinking about it,’ Toshiro confessed.  
‘But I thought you and Renka formed a close bond,’ the ice dragon questioned.  
‘Yeah, I thought so too. If she won’t talk about her troubles with me then I guess we’re not as close as I hoped.’  
‘Master Hitsugaya, you yourself told your Lieutenant that Renka works through things on her own. Maybe she just needs time to do so.’  
Toshiro opened his eyes and sighed. “Yeah, maybe.”  
He straightened up and made his way slowly to Captain Shiba’s office and knocked. The familiar Lieutenant Matsumoto opened the door.  
Toshiro bowed to her before speaking. “Captain Shiba wished to see me?”  
“Ah, is that our Child prodigy?” A gruff voice called. “Come on in Toshiro. Tell me, are you ready for graduation?” A tall, muscular man sat behind the desk, his Captain’s haori over his left shoulder.  
“I’m not sure. I never really wanted to become a Shinigami. I only joined the academy to learn to control my reiatsu.”  
“Well, you’re certainly honest, I’ll give you that,” Isshin chuckled. “Being a Shinigami can be challenging at times, but also rewarding.”   
“I understand that. With hollows, we need to protect the innocent souls and help them to pass on through Konso, as well as protecting humans from getting caught in the crossfire.” Toshiro looked down to the floor. “I’m just not sure I’m ready for that.”  
The Lieutenant stood next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You may never be fully ready. I wasn’t when I first graduated. But my friends and Captain Shiba helped me through the difficult times. I know we’ll be there for you.” A reassuring smile graced her face as she spoke.  
“Thank you, Lieutenant Matsumoto,” Toshiro said quietly.  
Isshin glanced at the clock. “Ah, 1.30PM. About the right time to go to the auditorium.” He stretched as he rose from his chair. “I’m telling ya, I gotta nap after this ceremony. All work and no rest is no fun.” Rangiku shot a death glare in his direction and he just laughed in response.  
…  
Genryusai Yamamoto stood at the front of the packed auditorium. The remaining 12 Captains behind.  
“As many of you know, two weeks ago, the 3rd years’ test mission had a devastating consequence. The two students graduating today, showed extraordinary courage and skills in defeating the Menos Grande that killed their friend and classmate. These students are Toshiro Hitsugaya and Renka Sojensu. As well as graduating, they have been head-hunted and are granted seated positions in their chosen squads.  
Master Hitsugaya, Ms Sojensu, you may stand,” the old man addressed the graduates who complied with his order. Both bow to the Captain-Commander before approaching. He turned to Renka.  
“I, Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto, hereby graduate you, Renka Sojensu, after two years and six months at the Shino Academy, and promote you to be 3rd seat of Squad 9 under the command of Captain Kaname Tousen.” Renka bowed and turned to her Captain to bow again.  
“I, Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto, hereby graduate you, Toshiro Hitsugaya, after six months at the Shino Academy, and promote you to be 3rd seat of Squad 10 under the command of Captain Isshin Shiba.” The young boy bowed at the Captain-Commander before bowing to his own Captain.  
The two new graduates then returned to their seats until everyone was dismissed.  
“That was unpleasant,” Renka sighed.  
The younger graduate looked up, perplexed. “How do you mean?”  
“I don’t know about you, but I could feel everyone judging me.”  
Toshiro frowned. “If they were judging anyone, don’t you think it’d be me?”  
Renka lowered her gaze knowing that he was right. “Sorry, Toshiro. Just ignore my stupidity.”  
“Renka, Toshiro. Congratulations.” Renji called. The tall red head approached with Momo and a blond-haired man.  
“Thanks, Renji,” Renka replied cheerfully, in attempt to hide her previous feelings of shameful idiocrasy, she knew that Renji wasn’t fooled. She turned to the blond. “You must be Izuru.”  
Shocked, the man widened his eyes. “How did you know?”  
Renka smiled. “Lucky guess.”  
“Shuuhei told you, didn’t he?” Izuru whispered. Renka’s lips curled in the corner forming a smile at the mention of her Lieutenant’s name.  
“Shiro.” Momo started, stopping herself when she saw the boy’s disappointment. “Sorry, Toshiro,” she corrected. “You didn’t tell me you were coming in at 3rd seat.”  
“I didn’t know I had to.” The young boy replied.  
“Y’know,” Renji started. “We should go out for a drink to celebrate.”  
“Toshiro can’t. He’s a kid,” Momo stated.  
“I am not a kid!” Toshiro argued, scowling at his childhood friend. “And anyway, you could class as a kid too. You’re short.”  
“Am not!” Momo retorted.  
Leaving the two to bicker, Renka turned to Renji. “Sorry Renji, I think I’m just gonna stay in tonight and settle in. Thanks for the invite though.”  
“Okay. No worries.” Renji replied as Shuuhei walked over towards the crowd. “How about you, Shuuhei? Tavern, tonight?”  
“I don’t know Renji. Is Matsumoto going to be there? You know how crazy she gets with the sake. She’ll drag us all down with her and I gotta introduce our new 3rd Seat to the Squad.” Shuuhei looks towards the blushing Renka who attempts to avoid the eye-contact. “Anyway, aren’t you two being transferred tomorrow to other Squads?”  
“Oh shit,” the red-haired Shinigami cursed. “I forgot about that.”  
“Oh?” Renka enquired. “Which Squads are you two going to?”  
“I’m moving to 11.”  
“And I’m going into Squad 3 with Captain Ichimaru.”  
“Wow. Congratulations guys. That’s awesome. Is Momo not transferring?”  
“No. She wants to stay with Captain Aizen.” Izuru replied.  
“Ever since that ambush in our first year, she has been totally besotted with him.” Renji looked over at the subject of conversation who was walking over to the Captain.  
…  
“Gin, it’s not like you to lose confidence in your abilities. You’re going to be a great Captain. I’d like to think I taught you well.”  
“It’s not me I’m worried about Sousuke. You’re going to be alone in that office, with Momo. She’ll drive you crazy.” The newly appointed 3rd Captain said.  
“Admiration is the emotion furthest from understanding. It’ll take a few decades to carry out our plans. Until then, I can plot how various moments will end.” The older Captain glanced at Momo who was getting closer. “Ah, 3rd Seat Hinamori. What can I do for you?” Captain Aizen spoke softly, his masked smile as fake as ever. Only Gin could see through it.   
Momo bowed to both the Captains. “Sorry for the intrusion Captain Ichimaru. Could I please have a moment with Captain Aizen?”


	7. The Beginning of Deceit

Chapter 7 – The Beginning of Deceit  
Gin snarled inwardly as he walked away, shooting daggered eyes at the young, interrupting girl. ‘Touch him and I’ll kill you.’  
“What can I do for you Momo?” The tall, Captain asked. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?” His warm smile, although fake, aired a little confidence in his naïve subordinate.  
‘Play nicely Sousuke,’ his Zanpakuto warned.  
“I… Yes, a bit nervous.” Hinamori confessed, blushing slightly. She felt her Captain’s warm hand rest on her shoulder, and she gazed up to him. Eyes wide. “I’m not sure I’m ready to be your Lieutenant.”  
“Momo, now that Ichimaru has be promoted to Captain, I can’t think of anyone better to be my Lieutenant. Your skills continue to grow, and those talents would be wasted if you were to halt at 3rd Seat.” Aizen’s voice calmed the anxious soon-to-be Lieutenant.  
Momo always felt calm in the presence of her Captain. She adored him. She would even go so far as to say she loved him if it weren’t for Captain Ichimaru. The two of them had been together for over 5 decades. ‘What does he have that I don’t? Is it just a case of him getting there before me? How do I get Sousuke to be mine?’ She realised she had been gazing at her superior for far longer than was necessary. Blushing, she turned away quickly.   
“S-sorry, Captain Aizen,” she stuttered. “I didn’t mean to stare.”   
Sousuke smiled. “Don’t worry about it Momo.” ‘I’ve got you. And so, the deceit begins.’  
Kyouka sighed in response. ‘Sousuke,’  
‘You know what I’m like Kyouka. Don’t scold me on this.’ He felt his Zanpakutos’ disappointment burning in his mind.  
…  
Gin made his way over to Rangiku, his childhood friend.   
“Hey Ran,” he started. “You busy right now?”  
“Gin. What’s up?”  
“I gotta walk Cherry and Tsuku. Wanna come with?” the silver-haired Captain hoped. It had been so long since they last connected with each other, just the two of them.  
Rangiku smiled. “Of course, I’ll come.”  
The two collect the foxes and walk along the woodland track behind Gin and Sousuke’s home.  
“Ah, it’s been so long since I could relax without thinking about work,” the blond said.  
Gin raised an eyebrow. “Since when do you think about work, Ran?” he chuckled.  
She protested. “Hey, I work.”  
Cherry barked in response as if to say ‘Yeah, right,’ before trotting off to race Tsuku up the track. Their fluffy tails trailing behind them.  
“So,” Rangiku began. “What’s up?”  
“Why does something have to be up? Can’t I just spend time with my childhood buddy?” Gin defended.  
“Exactly, Gin. We’ve known each other since before the Academy, I can always sense when something isn’t quite right with you.”  
The silver haired Captain sighed. “I just, I don’t know. I’m worried about this promotion.”  
“Your promotion? Or someone else’s?” Rangiku stopped and a concerned look reached her face.  
Gin clenched his fists and hoped that Rangiku hadn’t noticed his complete anguish. “3rd Seat Hinamori. I’m worried for my relationship with Sousuke if she gets involved.”  
“Why would she get involved?” Rangiku asked, curious of where her friend’s mind was going.  
The Captain sighed. “I know Sousuke wouldn’t tarnish our relationship, but I can’t shake this feeling that Momo will ruin it somehow. I’ve seen how she is with him.”  
“Gin, you know Sousuke is crazy about you. He wouldn’t let anyone get in the way of what you two have.” Seeing the still worried look on Gin’s face, Rangiku added, “Do you want me to have a word with Momo?”  
Gin’s blue eyes shot up. “No. I don’t want her to know that I’m insecure. That’ll just make everything easier for her.”  
…  
That evening, Renka stood outside Toshiro’s quarters. She thought back to earlier in the day. Mainly to the morning when they were on their way to the barracks. I can’t believe I basically told Toshiro to mind his business. I’m such an idiot.  
Taking a breath, she knocked on the door. After a moment, Toshiro answered.  
“3rd Seat Sojensu, how can I help you?”  
Renka winced at the cold tone in his voice knowing that she deserved it. She’d started to push him away when all he wanted to do was make sure she was okay.  
“3rd Seat Hitsugaya. Toshiro. I’ve come to apologise for earlier. I was an idiot. I know you were just trying to help. Truth is, I’m not alright. My nightmares are getting worse. I’m stressed with all this news happening at once. I know it’s not a good enough excuse, but I’m sorry.” She paused for a moment before speaking again. “I wouldn’t blame you if you close the door in my face. I was a jerk today.” Renka braced herself for rejection, but instead, the young Shinigami grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the room.  
“Sit down,” Toshiro ordered. “I’ll make drinks and then we’ll talk.”  
Renka did as she was asked and contently sighed when Toshiro passed her drink over to her. “Thanks, Toshiro.”  
“Okay then. What’s going on with you?” the white-haired Shinigami enquired.  
“Last night, my nightmares became worse. I’ve been thinking about it all day and still don’t know how to explain it. It’ll be easier to just show you.” Renka gently pulled the fabric away a little from her chest exposing the cross shaped scar. “This is why I stopped suddenly when we left the Academy dormitories this morning. I was attacked in my nightmare and woke up with this scar.”  
“Damn, Renka. This is serious. Have you told anyone else about this, or just me?”  
“Only you so far. I’m going to tell Lieutenant Hisagi, but I don’t think I can tell anyone else just yet.”  
“Not even Renji?”  
“No. Renji worries about me enough. I can’t burden him even more. Sorry, Toshiro. I shouldn’t be a burden to you either. I’ll go.” Renka placed the mug on the table and started to get up.  
“Don’t you dare. Don’t push me away.” Toshiro demanded. “I’m your brother, remember? I won’t let you push me away.”  
Renka sighed, “Toshiro. I don’t want to lose you as a result of my nightmares. It’ll only be a matter of time before you fall victim to an attack that I prophesize.”  
“You won’t lose me, because you’ll tell me before it happens,” Toshiro exclaimed.  
“Didn’t I tell you before, that I can’t do anything to stop or change the outcome?” Renka’s pained expression troubled Toshiro.  
“When was the last time you tried to prevent a nightmare from happening?” the young Shinigami questioned.  
Renka thought for a moment, realising that she couldn’t remember. “I, don’t know. It’s been a while.”  
“You’re more powerful now. How about next time a prophetic dream happens, you try again to stop it.” Toshiro encouraged. “You never know if you’ll succeed if you don’t try.” A small smile on his face brightened Renka’s expression.  
“Okay. I’ll try,” Renka replied, sceptical that it would work.  
…  
Captains Kuchiki and Ukitake sat in a booth in the Wolf Den Tavern discussing recent events. The bar was quiet with no rowdy Squad 11s starting brawls.  
“Are you sure it was wise to have the two students graduate this early Jushiro?” The stoic Captain of 6 asked.  
“They could possibly do with a bit more training, but after seeing them on the battle field in the World of the Living, I don’t regret my recommendation. Hitsugaya held his own out there, and Sojensu showed excellent leadership skills. I don’t know many 3rd year students who would be able to successfully pull off a Level 60 Hado attack.” Captain Ukitake took a sip of his drink.  
“I agree they are both talented, but Hitsugaya, he is the youngest to ever graduate Shino Academy. I know he’s a prodigy, but he’s going to struggle after only 6 months of training.” Captain Kuchiki stated. “And Sojensu, I’m not sure. There’s something about her that I can’t seem to grasp. Almost as though I’ve encountered her reiatsu before.”  
“You’re right, of course. It was Captain-Commander’s decision to graduate the students this early. He obviously sees the full potential of their skills.”  
The two finish their drinks before making their way out of the tavern. “Thank you” Jushiro calls as he waves to the tender behind the bar.  
…  
Another nightmare starts. Every night for the past week, Renka had the same disaster continuing from the previous night. Tonight, however, she stands in Rukongai, outside her childhood house. Demolished to the point of disrepair.  
A hollow attacked her from behind, leaving her semi-conscious. Shuuhei stepped in front of the hollow who then speared him. Blood. So much crimson sprayed around.  
“NO!!” Renka shouted as she awoke from her inner hell, breathing heavily.  
The sunrise poured through the window.   
“You’re more powerful now. How about next time a prophetic dream happens, you try again to stop it. You never know if you’ll succeed if you don’t try.” Renka remembered. “There’s no way I can watch Shuuhei die.”  
“Then don’t.” Arashi showed herself again in Renka’s mirror. “Toshiro was right. You know what’s going to happen if you don’t try to change it.”  
Renka nodded and got ready for the day. More determination than ever. “I’m an officer of the 13 Court Guards. The 3rd Seat of Squad 9. I will not allow my Lieutenant to die.”  
The whole day went without a hitch. No hollows. Just introduction to the Squad and some one-on-one training with the 4th and 5th Seat.


	8. Renka's Decision

Chapter 8 – Renka’s Decision  
A few days later, Shuuhei was called to the Captain’s office.  
“Lieutenant Hisagi,” Captain Tousen started. “There’s been news of a high-level hollow in South Rukongai, District 78. I’d like you to take 3rd Seat Sojensu to check it out and eliminate the despicable creature. Be aware, it can hide its spirit energy.”  
“Of course, Captain Tousen. We’ll head out now.” Shuuhei bowed before he left to retrieve Renka from training.  
…  
Renka was on a break with Renji in Squad 9s barracks.  
“Hey, Renka. What’s going on with you and Toshiro?” Renji enquired.  
After taking a quick drink, Renka looked up at her Rukon brother. “What do you mean?”  
“Like, are you two, seeing each other?”   
“What? No. Really, Renji? You think me and Toshiro?” Renka protested. Possibly a bit too much. “I mean, he’s a great kid, but he’s just that, a kid. Like a little brother to me.”  
“Well, you’ve got someone on your mind. You’re not as focussed as usual. Spill.”  
The 3rd Seat sighed. “Renji. Do I have to?” She looked away knowing that Renji wasn’t going to drop it. Sighing again, she gave in. “Okay, but if I tell you, you can’t tell anyone.”  
“You know I’ll try my best, though I can’t promise.”  
Taking a deep breath, Renka revealed, “Lieutenant Hisagi.”  
Shocked, Renji repeated, “Hisagi? You like Shuuhei?”  
“You can’t tell him. I couldn’t handle the rejection.” Renka’s face blushed.  
Renji smiled. “I knew there was someone. You should tell him.”  
“Oh great. I’m going to have to kill you now aren’t I? If I don’t, you’ll go blabbing to the gang.” Renka stood up and stretched.  
“You win, we keep it a secret. I win, you tell him.” Renji grabbed his Zanpakuto and Renka stepped forward, extending her hand.  
“Deal.”  
Just as their blades clashed, Shuuhei walked in. When she noticed, Renka lost focus again allowing for Renji to attack. He struck her Zanpakuto away and pointed the tip of Zabimaru towards her chest. “I guess, I win.”  
“Dammit,” Renka cursed. “Alright. You win this round. We’re 2-for-2.”  
“Sorry, Renji, Renka. Training’s over for now. Renka, we gotta move. Apparently there is a hollow in South Rukon 78.”  
“In Hanging Dog?” Renka’s heart jumped into her throat, and she turned to Renji before looking back at Shuuhei. “Is there any information on its abilities?”  
“The only information I got was that it’s a high level and can mask his presence. Captain Tousen wants us two to sort it out.”  
“Okay, I’m ready.” Renka swallowed hard, knowing that it was a lie. But this was likely to be the hollow she was searching for.  
“Mind me coming along too? I got a free afternoon.” Renji enquired. By the look on Renka’s face, he knew what she was thinking. He needed to be there, for her sake.  
“Sure. If you want to.” Shuuhei replied. Looking at Renka, he saw something in her eyes. Fear? No. Pain. Why? Is this too close for her?”  
“I’ll meet you guys there.” ‘If this is from my nightmare the other night, I gotta fix this before Shuuhei gets there. I can’t lose him.’ Renka flash-stepped away before Shuuhei and Renji could stop her. All they could do was follow.  
“Damn, I forgot how fast she is,” Renji mentioned.  
…  
Renka finally stopped when she reached the ruins of her childhood home. With a tear in her eye, she briefly reflected back to the first attack; the one that killed her family.   
They were 11 and 15 when Renka ran home with Renji. It was already dark, and they were late. Suddenly, a low hissing sound came from the forest at the back of the hut. “Heeeeeeeeeeathen.” The only thing they saw was the demonic eyes of a hollow and fresh, crimson blood dripping from its jaw. The rest of his gigantic body seemed to be disguised in the trees; or did it take the form of said trees, Renka couldn’t tell.  
A scream from Renka’s mother made her blood run cold. Her father was already dead. The only thing left was a note her father had folded and held in his hand. ‘Renka, it’s time you know the truth. I’m sorry, we are not your biological family. Your real father is a Soul Reaper. Go and find him. I don’t regret bringing you up all these years. You are strong and will grow stronger with each challenge. We love you, daughter, and we are so proud of you.’  
Renka let a few silent tears fall as a lump formed in the back of her throat.  
‘We’ll avenge them together, Renka,’ Arashi quietly spoke in Renka’s inner world.  
“Little girl. You really think you can take me on?” the hollow growled from the forest behind the ruins.  
“Heathen! Show yourself, you coward!” Renka’s voice called more impatient than ever.   
The hollow cackled. “Oh, you remembered my name, little girl. Not that it makes any difference.” The 6-legged beast emerged from the trees. His sinister mask sent a chill straight down Renka’s spine.  
“I’m not a little girl anymore, Heathen. I’m not afraid of you.” Renka stood firm, Arashi gripped tightly in her hands.  
“Ah good. You gotten stronger I see. That will make you much tastier than your mother,” the hollow taunted.  
“Shut up!” Renka scolded, gritting her teeth.  
“She didn’t put up much of a fight, you know. I think she actually wanted to be devoured.”  
Renka charged. “YOU BASTARD!!” Swinging her Zanpakuto, she slashed one of Heathens’ horns. “Not deep enough. Dammit,” she sighed.  
‘You need to calm down if we are going to beat him,’ Arashi guided.  
“You’re not the only one who has become stronger.” The hollow whipped its tail knocking Renka into a nearby tree with full force.  
Renka lost sight of the beast for a second before it reappeared 5 inches away from her face and wrapped its branch-like grip around her neck. Lifting her off the ground, Heathen snarled at her. “I’ve waited so long for this. I am going to savour you. No sense in rushing a delightful meal.”  
“BAKUDO 63, SAJO SABAKU!” A yellow chain kido thundered towards the hollow, binding it and Renka fell to her knees. Renji ran over to her as Shuuhei blasted the creature with Shakaho.  
“Renka. Are you alright?” Renji asked, worried.  
“He’s stronger. I’m not sure we can defeat him.”  
“Stop it, Renka. Self-doubt will not help anyone. It certainly won’t avenge your family.”  
“Yeah, you’re right,” Renka said sadly. She looked down and took a slow deep breath. Rising to her feet, she aired more confidence than before. “Lieutenant Hisagi. I’d like to continue this fight alone please.”  
Shuuhei saw a change in his subordinates’ aura. Renji nodded in confirmation that this was Renka’s battle. “Of course, 3rd Seat Sojensu.” ‘Just, please, go careful.’ He stepped back and allowed Renka to face the beast who was emerging from the smoke.  
“What was that? Was that supposed to damage me?” Heathen cackled. “Not even a scratch.” He made his way over to the offending Shinigami that attacked him.  
Renka blocked his path. “He’s not your opponent, Heathen. This is between you and me.”  
“Aww, Little Girl wants to protect her friends.”  
“I was foolish to think I could defeat you with my Zanpakuto in sealed form. Clearly, I was wrong.” Staring the creature directly in the eyes, she continues, “Strike, Arashi no Megami.”  
Storm clouds gathered and blue and white electrical energy showed the Shinigami’s reiatsu. Her eyes glowed ice blue, and the wind swept her hair in all directions except into her field of vision. The once pale blue handled Zanpakuto took the form of a silver trident which she pointed towards Heathen. A new feel of determination aired from her being.  
“Raitoningukēji.” A spark exited the tip of the trident and trapped the hollow in an electrical cage.  
‘Renka, if you’re planning the attack I think you are, you may want to step back a bit. You don’t want to be caught in the crossfire.’ Arashi warned.  
‘I’ll be fine. Let’s do this.’ Renka then raised her trident to the sky. “Tenpesutoburasuto”. A cascade of water flooded the area where the trapped hollow stood. The aquatic and electrical mix shocked the hollow to near death.  
At last moment, Renka disabled the cage in order to land one final blow to the beast.  
“Brat! If I die, I’m taking you out with me.”  
Renka’s Zanpakuto skewered the hollow through his mask. At the same time, the hollow pierced the Shinigami just below the ribcage. Once the hollow dissipated into the air, Renka fell and expected to hit the floor with a crash. Instead, she was caught by her Lieutenant.  
“I’m sorry, Shuuhei.” Renka’s eyes filled with tears. “I messed up.”  
“Renka, don’t speak,” Shuuhei ordered. “We got to get you to Squad 4. Here,” he held her hand and guided it to her injury. “Keep pressure on the wound.”  
“You didn’t mess up that badly,” Renji said. “You avenged your family.”  
The new Shinigami forced herself to control her erratic breaths. ‘At least my dream didn’t come true. Shuuhei is still here.’ Renka passed out from the pain and blood loss sustained due to the injury, and Shuuhei and Renji flash stepped as quick as they could to Captain Unohana.


	9. What do I do?

Chapter 9 – What do I do?  
Renka lay asleep on a bed in the 4th Squad barracks as Renji and Shuuhei sat by her side.  
“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Shuuhei said. He felt the guilt pulling him down, drowning him. “She’s a member of my Squad. My responsibility.”  
“Hey, Shuuhei. It’s not your fault.” Renji attempted to comfort his friend. “We both know how stubborn she can be. There was no stopping her stepping in front of that hollow.”  
Shuuhei’s eyes darkened. “I was supposed to protect her.”  
“You are not to blame, Lieutenant Hisagi.” The warm voice of 4th Captain, Retsu Unohana, came from the doorway.  
“Captain Unohana.” Renji bowed. “How is she doing?”  
“Well, she is still alive which is surprising from such an attack. I am however, getting some unusually inconsistent readings from her reiatsu. A lot of her injuries were not sustained by the hollow.”  
Renji and Shuuhei glanced at Unohana, seeking more answers.  
“What do you mean?” Shuuhei asked, not certain he was ready for the response.  
Renka stirred in her slumber as her reiatsu began to fluctuate. Unohana frowned. “It seems as though her reiatsu is attacking her. It’s not something I have seen before.”  
They stood in silence for a moment before they heard another voice.   
“I have.” They all turn to see Captain Kuchiki stood straight in the doorway. “I’m sorry Lieutenant Hisagi. Could I steal a moment of Captain Unohana’s time?”  
Shuuhei lowered his head. “Of course, Captain Kuchiki.” He quietly left the room with Renji as Byakuya moved to stand by the bed. An unusually pained look on his face.  
“Captain Unohana. I have a request that no one must know about.”  
Sensing his anguish, she replied. “You know that anything you say to me is confidential.”  
“As you know, I was with Hisana for 20 years. The Clan Elders strongly disapproved of my choice given our status differences.” Byakuya sighed before continuing. “Early on, Hisana became pregnant and had a baby girl.” Remembering back, Byakuya’s eyes began to darken. To untrained eyes, there was no difference in his aura, but Retsu could tell. She let him continue, knowing how rare it was for the stoic noble to open up about anything.  
“The Clan Elders would have banished Hisana from the family if they found out. Once the child was born, we took her to the Rukon District and gave her to a young couple who had just lost their own child. I never went back.” Regret took over and pearls of water threatened his eyes. “I never expected her to take after Hisana in this way.”  
“Captain Kuchiki. What are you asking of me? Do you want confirmation as to whether Renka is your daughter?” Unohana pursued.  
“I’m sorry Unohana, but you know I can’t go to Captain Kurotsuchi with a request as delicate as this one. You are the only person I can fully trust with this matter.”  
Retsu bowed seeing the evident pain in the younger Captain’s eyes. “I understand. I shall get right on that for you Captain Kuchiki.”  
Byakuya took one last pained look at Renka before bowing and turning to excuse himself from the room.  
“One more thing Captain Kuchiki,” Retsu called to stop him. “If Renka’s nightmares are the same as Hisana’s, how can they be managed?”  
“By being with someone who can withstand her energy when it happens. Hisana’s reiatsu only calmed if I were there to counteract it.”  
“Very well. I’ll not keep you any longer Captain Kuchiki.” Retsu frowned again as Renka’s reiatsu spiked causing a slash on her right arm.  
“I heard she’s close to Renji Abarai. He may know someone who might be able to help,” Byakuya stated. “Failing that, maybe 3rd Seat Hitsugaya.” He left and his presence was replaced again by Renji and Shuuhei.  
“Any developments, Captain Unohana?” The dark-haired Lieutenant asked, hoping for a favourable answer to his subordinate’s condition.  
“There is a possibility that Renka’s reiatsu can be stabilised. 6th Seat Abarai, do you know anyone that Renka is particularly close to?”  
Renji looked perplexed. “Close, how? Like friend, or more?”  
Retsu studied Renji’s response and Shuuhei looked toward him, urgently waiting.  
“Please, Renji. If you know something…”  
“I think there is one person who she wants to be close to. She told me she’s holding back because she’s worried about being rejected.”  
“Who?” Shuuhei pursued. “This could save her life Renji.”  
The red head saw the desperation in the other man’s eyes and sighed. “You, Shuuhei. If I’m right then the answer is you.”  
…  
Back at the Kuchiki manor, Byakuya knelt by Hisana’s memorial in silent prayer.  
Hisana, I think I’ve found her. Our daughter. I’m sorry of how things were back then. The regret has haunted me every day, more so since your passing.  
Byakuya’s eyes filled with tears and he let them fall free in the privacy of the Kuchiki chapel.  
She’ll not forgive me for my actions. I know I don’t.  
You’d be so proud of her. She graduated the academy in her 3rd year. Her skills are incredibly advanced. She already has a 3rd seat position in 9th Squad.  
She’s just like you. Compassionate and outspoken. But there’s another thing. Her reiatsu. It’s linked to her nightmares, just as yours was. I’ve witnessed it myself. Like you, her reiatsu is killing her. Attacking her physical being and no doubt her mind as well. I have told Unohana how to control it, but I sense that it won’t be long before she becomes ill. I can’t allow that to happen. I can’t lose her again. Certainly not the same way as I lost you.  
Tears continued to fall as Byakuya lowered his gaze away from Hisana’s picture, fists clenched tight.  
Hisana, what can I do to stop this happening again?  
…  
Shuuhei was speechless for a moment.   
“Are… you sure? I mean, me?” He wasn’t positive that he heard his friend correctly.  
Renji nodded. “I’m not sure of the context, but she did tell me that she really likes you. She did also say that she didn’t want to be rejected if she told you about her feelings,” the red head remembered.  
Shuuhei looked over at the sleeping 3rd Seat. Her face paler than usual, and a fresh slash on her collarbone.  
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Shuuhei then turned to Captain Unohana.  
“What do I have to do? How can I help her?”  
“You need to counteract her spirit energy,” Unohana confirmed.   
Unsure of how to do that, Shuuhei sighed. He took a hold of Renka’s hand and attempted to balance the reiatsu. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes. ‘Kazeshini. You know I don’t ask much of you, but please. How do I do this?’  
‘Hey, you’ve really fallen hard for her, haven’t you, partner.’ Kazeshini questioned. ‘It’s certainly not like you to ask for my help.’ The Zanpakuto spirit exhaled before continuing. ‘You just need to relax and focus your reiatsu on her. That’s how you save your darling subordinate.’  
Shuuhei couldn’t be doing with Kazeshini’s sarcastic tone, but nevertheless did as he was guided.  
Renka’s energy gradually became less erratic as Shuuhei focussed and opened his eyes again. He noticed that Renka was a little more peaceful now. Not stirring as much as before.  
…  
Slowly, she awoke, eyes blinking open and closing again tight at the blinding, white lights which greeted her.  
Unohana exited the room and left Shuuhei and Renji to welcome Renka back into consciousness.  
Renka sighed, knowing where she was. After turning her head away from the light, she opened her eyes again, slowly to allow them to adjust. ‘I’m still alive. How?’ It was then she realised someone holding her hand. “Shuuhei?”  
Shuuhei’s grip tightened slightly. “Hey. How you feeling?” he asked.  
Renka groaned. “Like I’ve gone 10 rounds with a Menos.” She struggled to move into a sitting position. Renji held Renka’s arm and assisted in guiding her.  
“Maybe it’d be better if you relax a little,” Renji said. That was before he recoiled into himself when he saw her glare. “Yeah, I know. You never do as you’re told.”  
Renka resisted the urge to punch Renji at that, knowing that she would only cause herself more injury. “Make the most of it, Renji. Once I’m better, you’ll regret taunting me.” A small smirk on her face.  
As she looked over at Shuuhei, she noticed his pained expression. She tightened her hand slightly in his to get his attention. “Shuuhei?”  
He glanced up. “What’s going on with your nightmares, Renka?”  
Like a deer caught in a car’s headlights, Renka froze, eyes wide. “I… don’t know. It’s only recently that I’ve woken up with fresh scars.” The troubled look on Shuuhei’s face told Renka that he was genuinely concerned. “Sorry, Shuuhei. As my superior, I should have told you. I just… I didn’t know how to.”  
“Don’t apologise, Renka. I should have checked in with you more often.” Shuuhei released Renka’s hand as his eyes darkened. An action which stopped any immediate thoughts in Renka’s mind.  
“Shuuhei…”  
“I’m glad you’re okay,” the Lieutenant said as he stood up. “I’ve gotta go. Captain Tousen wants a report on that hollow.”  
Shuuhei left the room and Renka could feel the sting of tears forming in her eyes. Renji placed a hand on her shoulder in attempt to comfort her.  
“Hey, Renka,” he started. “Listen, what you did out there. It was reckless. I know you were avenging your family, and you did a great job. But didn’t I tell you that I don’t want to be losing you? If Shuuhei and I hadn’t have been there, you could have died.”  
“You told him, didn’t you?” Renka looked up at her childhood friend, a sense of fire in her eyes.  
“Yeah, but Renka. It was a life or death situation,” Renji defended.  
“I told you, I’d tell him when I’m ready.” Renka’s reiatsu spiked again as her eyes flashed the same ice blue as they did when she released her Zanpakuto.  
‘Damn. That incredible spirit energy.’ “I’m guessing now may not be the best time to tell you that Captain Kuchiki came while you were asleep.”  
Renka lowered her reiatsu output as she heard the mention of the 6th Captain. “What? He did?”


	10. Noble Truth

Chapter 10 – Noble Truth  
“Here’s the report Captain,” Shuuhei said as he handed over his paper with details of the Hollow attack in Rukongai.  
“How is 3rd Seat Sojensu doing? Has she regained consciousness?” The 9th Captain asked. His tone soft and calm.  
Shuuhei nodded. “Yes, she’s doing well. A few day’s rest and she should be back to her duties.” Shuuhei looked down. “Captain,”  
Sensing the younger man’s anguish, Tousen nodded for him to continue.  
“I… I want you to relieve me of my seated position,” Shuuhei pleaded.  
“Shuuhei, what has brought this on? Is it because of this morning?” Captain Tousen asked, concerned.  
Shuuhei clenched his fists. “I couldn’t protect her. A Lieutenant should be able to protect his subordinates, but I just couldn’t. I was afraid.”  
Kaname sighed. “You were afraid? If that’s the case, then that’s all the more reason to stay as Lieutenant. A man who is not afraid when going into battle has no right to wield a sword.”  
“But, Captain,” Shuuhei started, before he was cut short by his superior holding his hand up.  
“Shuuhei, from what I heard, this was Renka’s battle. I knew that when I assigned the two of you to this task. You may have been afraid, but you allowed your comrade to fight for her pride.” Kaname turned his head towards Shuuhei. “I’m going to guess that isn’t the only thing bothering you, Shuuhei.”  
Shuuhei looked up. “It’s nothing, Sir. I’ll be going now.”  
He exited the office and made his way to his living quarters. The low sun blinded him as it set over the Seireitei.  
‘Renka, why didn’t you tell me? Your nightmares are getting worse. And I can’t be around all the time to counteract your reiatsu.’  
He felt his Zanpakuto Spirit stir in his mind. ‘Hey, you can’t be giving up that easily, partner. You know now how she feels about you. You can’t expect her to force those feelings away.’  
‘Kazeshini. I don’t expect that of her. We both know I reciprocate those feelings. That’s not the problem.’  
‘Ah, so it’s the nightmares that are putting you off then, is it?’  
‘Kaze, I just need some time alone right now. I can’t be doing with your snide comments.’  
‘Okay, chill out. I was only trying to help.’ And with that, the demonic spirit quietened down and left Shuuhei to his thoughts.  
…  
Later that night, Tousen made his way to the rendezvous spot where he often met up with Aizen and Ichimaru.  
“Captain Tousen,” Gin said in a hushed tone. His face contorted into an evil grin.  
“Captain Ichimaru. Captain Aizen.”  
Aizen studied the two younger captains before speaking. “I saw that she defeated Heathen.”  
“Does that surprise you, Captain Aizen?” the 9th Captain questioned. “She had been waiting for that fight for 9 years.”  
“It doesn’t surprise me. Not in the slightest. Heathen was the first mock Arrancar. He got cocky thinking he could defeat her so easily. He was still quite weak.”  
“Exactly what threat does she pose to our plan?” Kaname continued to ask.  
“Renka Sojensu has prophetic dreams. If she finds out what we are doing and tells people, then you can say goodbye to justice in the Seireitei, Kaname.” The newly appointed Captain of 3rd replied.  
…  
Having spent most of the day unconscious, Renka lay awake in her bed in the hospital. She gave up on sleeping a little while ago. Sitting up, she glanced over at her Zanpakuto. She sighed. After a few moments, Renka closed her eyes and entered her inner world.  
The sea breeze hit her face as she stood on the all too familiar cliff edge. The silver-grey clouds paved the sky above the crashing waves. Renka always loved it here. Even on a dull day. Often more than reality.  
“Renka, what brings you here?” Arashi asked. Her emerald eyes showing concern for her physical companion.  
“You already know,” Renka sighed, sitting with her legs dangling over the ledge.  
“Lieutenant Hisagi. I would have thought you’d be happy that he knows about your feelings for him.” Arashi said as she moved in and sat next to her.  
“It’s not that. Well, it is. But…” she paused unsure of what to say.  
“But?” Arashi questioned, encouraging Renka to keep talking.  
The 3rd Seat shook her head. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just disappointed at how he found out. And the fact I need him in order to counter my reiatsu when it gets out of control. That’s gotta be too much for him to cope with. I mean, I’ve only been in the Guard Squads for about a week. He must think I’m coming on a bit strong.”  
An audible sigh left the Spirit next to Renka making her turn her head. “My dear Renka, you are still a child, but you know how deep the connection is between the two of you. You’ve seen it, in your dreams.” Arashi placed an arm around the Shinigami to comfort her. “Shuuhei just needs time. You both do.”  
Relaxing a little, Renka settled. “I hope that’s all it is. Thank you Arashi.”  
The Zanpakuto gave one final smile before vanishing in the wind.  
…  
The next morning, Byakuya walked into Captain Unohana’s office, an air of caution emanating from his aura.  
“Captain Kuchiki, thank you for coming,” Retsu said, a small welcoming smile on her face.  
“Are those the results?” Byakuya asked gesturing to the single envelope on the desk.  
“Yes,” Unohana nodded. “As you know I tested blood and reiatsu to obtain a more accurate result.” She handed the envelope to the younger Captain. “It is up to you when you open it. Only I know the result.”  
Though his hands were shaky, Byakuya forced his voice to stay steady. “Thank you, Captain Unohana.” Looking at the envelope in his hands, he asks, “Can you just tell me? If I am, then I want her to open the result.”  
Captain Unohana glanced at the unusually anxious noble. As much as he tried, Byakuya couldn’t be stoic all the time. A smile graced her face.  
“According to the results, there is no doubt that Renka Sojensu is your daughter.”  
Byakuya’s heart stopped momentarily. “She is?” he questioned in a hushed tone. His mouth suddenly dry, and any sound he made now was little more than a whisper. “C-Can I see her?”  
Unohana nodded and led the younger Captain to Renka’s room.  
“3rd Seat Sojensu, you have a visitor,” she said as she walked in.  
Renka looked up and saw the 6th Captain following behind.  
“Captain Kuchiki?” Renka asked, shocked. “What can I do for you?”  
“I’ll leave you to it Captain Kuchiki,” Retsu commented before exiting the room.  
Renka was puzzled. Of all the Captains to visit, she never expected the pragmatic Kuchiki leader.  
“What’s going on?” she asked.  
Byakuya sat in the chair next to the bed. “You’re going to get to know all the Captains and Lieutenants. Maybe this is a good time to get to know each other.”  
“You don’t strike me as the kind of person to engage in small talk, Captain,” Renka spoke, unsure of how to gauge the current situation in which she found herself.  
“Usually, no.” Byakuya confessed. “But your reiatsu intrigued me. What made you want to join the Guard Squads?”  
Renka felt a tug in her chest. The memory of her guardians and her quest to find her biological family. “I… um. I found out that my father is somewhere in the Seireitei. I was hoping to find him.” Pools of water started to form in the corner of her eyes. “Back in Hanging Dog, my family were killed by a hollow, the same one I fought yesterday. The man who raised me left me a note telling me to find my real family.”  
“I’d be happy to help. If you want my assistance that is,” Byakuya offered.  
“Why would you do that for me?” Renka questioned, curious.  
The dark-haired Captain looked Renka in the eye before he spoke again. “You remind me of someone. Do you have any ideas where to start?”  
“I remind you of someone?” Renka’s curiosity was growing.  
Byakuya took out the envelope from his haori and handed it to Renka.  
“What’s this?”  
“When you were asleep yesterday, your reiatsu was fluctuating. My late wife used to have prophetic nightmares. Her spirit energy was much the same.”  
Renka carefully opened the envelope. She had already guessed that Byakuya was her father given what he said; however, she was unsure whether she would be happy in reality.


	11. Mixed Feelings

Chapter 11 – Mixed Feelings  
Toshiro hunted through 10th Barracks searching for his superior officers. Both Lieutenant and Captain had gone AWOL. The young 3rd Seat sighed.  
“I’ve only been here for a week, but it seems I do more work than those two combined,” he muttered to himself.  
As Toshiro rounded the corner, Renji and Izuru called out to him.  
“Yo, Toshiro. How’s it going?” Renji asked.  
“Oh hey, Renji.”  
“Have you been to see Renka yet?” the blonde Lieutenant commented.  
Toshiro shook his head. “I’m trying to find either Lieutenant Matsumoto or Captain Shiba to ask if I can visit her. I can’t find them anywhere.”  
“I don’t know about Rangiku, but Captain Shiba is in the Wolf Den with Captain Kyoraku.”  
Toshiro sighed, exasperated. ‘I should have known.’ “Thanks, Izuru.”  
“If we bump into either of them, I can let them know you’re with Renka,” the Lieutenant chimes with an encouraging tone.  
Toshiro smiled. “Thanks.”  
“Mind if I come to, Toshiro?” the red head asked.  
“Sure, Renji. If you’re not busy.”  
“Nah, unless we are going to battle, 11th Squad are very rarely busy. And even then, Ikkaku and Yumichika are called before anyone else.”  
…  
Tears began to pool in Renka’s slate-coloured eyes. The evidence was overwhelming to say the least. It took a few moments for her to remember that the Captain of 6th was sitting patiently in the chair next to her.  
“Sorry, Captain Kuchiki. I…” Renka struggled to find the words. There it was, in black and white. The noble was her estranged father. She was a member of the most prestigious Clan.  
Though Byakuya was expecting the 3rd Seat to be speechless, he hadn’t thought about her breaking down in front of him. In all honesty, he was unsure of what to do. Was he supposed to pursue the conversation, or comfort her somehow? If he was meant to comfort her, how was he to do so? Eventually Byakuya gave up all hesitant thoughts and laid a hand on Renka’s shoulder.  
“How are you feeling?” he asked, hoping to get an insight into how the news was received.  
Renka looked up at the Noble Captain. Eye’s still stinging from the tears she tried so desperately to hold back but failed.  
“I don’t know. Angry, sad but relieved at the same time.” Renka stared back at the parchment. “It’s… too much to take in.”  
The words of her childhood friend spiralled around in her mind.  
‘As much as I want you to find your true family, I hope you’re not a Kuchiki. The man is arrogant, and I’ve already lost one dear friend; I refuse to lose my sister too.’  
“Would you,” Byakuya paused, trying to think of how to phrase it without causing unnecessary stress. “Would you like time to think about it?”  
“Renji’s always been there for me. I don’t want to lose my brother. I’ve lost too much already.”  
Byakuya’s heart broke as he listened to Renka. Knowing how close she is to Renji, he recalled how tense things got between the red-head and Rukia when she was brought into the Clan.  
“No one will know until you want them to. At least now you know the truth of who you are.”  
Unable to restrain herself, Renka pulled on Byakuya’s haori and sobbed. Byakuya allowed the young 3rd Seat to cry against him as he rubbed her back in attempt to comfort her.  
After a few moments, the Noble spoke again. “If you have any questions, you know where to find me.”  
Renka nodded.  
“You should get some rest. I heard you didn’t sleep much last night.” Byakuya’s voice turned strict, and he winced at his harshness as he heard himself.  
“You’re right,” Renka sighed. Releasing the haori, she swiped away what remained of her tears. As Byakuya turned to exit the room, Renka called out to him. “Father, thank you.”  
The Captain didn’t expect his daughter to accept him so quickly. He couldn’t help the smile which found its way onto his face.  
…  
Squad 13 began to head out on their recon mission. Kaien’s wife, Miyako, led the team. There had been a strange surge of disappearances just outside of the Seireitei walls.  
“Don’t be reckless, Miyako.”  
“Oh my, Kaien. I never expected that to come from you,” the 3rd Seat chuckled.  
Kaien sighed. “Don’t joke around. We know nothing about this Hollow. You must be careful.” The look on his face couldn’t mask the worry in his voice.  
Miyako smiled and turned to lead her group into the woods.  
…  
Rangiku sat in the office at 10’s barracks with Izuru.  
“So, that’s where Toshiro is?” she muttered. “I did wonder if he was going to visit Renka. They seemed close at the academy. I’m glad he has someone to be there for him.”  
Izuru tilted his head, curious. “What do you mean?”  
Rangiku covered her mouth. She had said too much already. “Don’t tell anyone, but I got the feeling he was lonely when I first met him. In comparison, when I collected him from the academy, he had come out of his shell a little.”  
“You think Renka is the sole reason? He was there for six months.”  
The tenth Lieutenant shook her head to change the subject. She noticed all the paperwork was completed, though she doubted Captain Shiba had anything to do with it. He only ever did the bare minimum and passed as much work onto Rangiku as possible. “You know, it wouldn’t surprise me if that boy became the next Captain of this Squad. He does more than Captain Shiba.”  
“Seriously, Rangiku? You shouldn’t speak about your Captain like that.” Izuru whispered.  
…  
Renka was asleep when Toshiro and Renji got to her room. Her reiatsu already spiking from time to time.  
“Another nightmare? Does she ever get a peaceful night?” her young friend questioned.  
“They’ve gotten much worse. Yesterday, her reiatsu actually attacked her.” Renji frowned.  
“Ever since we joined the Guard Squads. I know, she told me. Is there any way to stop it?”  
Though Renji was shocked that Toshiro knew about Renka’s reiatsu, he didn’t question it. He was aware that the two of them had gotten close towards the end of their time at the academy.  
“Only one person can counter it. But Renka would likely kill me for telling you who.” He sighed, remembering how she scolded him the day before. “She’s vicious when she wants to be. I wouldn’t wanna cross her.”  
Toshiro chuckled. “I know what you mean.”  
Renka’s reiatsu spiked again, slashing like a whip, catching her upper arm as it does so.   
“There’s gotta be something we can do,” Toshiro thinks out loud.  
Before he knew exactly what he was doing, he held his own arm out to block another strike. One that would’ve caused serious damage if it hit its desired target.  
“Damn Toshiro, you trying to get yer’self killed?” Renji asked.  
“No, but if I didn’t,” Toshiro paused. “That strike could have killed Renka. She’s more valuable to the Seireitei than I am. I don’t belong here.”  
Renji’s eyes widened. He saw the pain in the young boy’s eyes despite the fact he was looking down.   
“You don’t honestly believe that do you? Do you know what it would do to Renka if she heard you speaking like that?” Renji tried to calm himself before continuing. “Toshiro, you are like a brother to her. The fact that she finds it easier to speak to you than anyone else has gotta be proof of that. She told you about her nightmares, and the fact that she is being physically attacked by them. Even I didn’t know that part.”  
Before Toshiro could answer, Renka awoke with a start.


	12. The Nightmare

Chapter 12 – The Nightmare  
Renka sat in silence, eyes wide and shaking from the terror she had witnessed in her nightmare. Never before had a vision been so vivid. All Shinigami involved and the offending hollow were clear as day. Almost as though Renka had been watching from the side-lines. She hadn’t noticed that she had the company of Renji and Toshiro in the room with her.  
“Renka? What is it? What happened?” Renji asked, though his desperation was not met with a response.  
On impulse, Toshiro sat on the edge of Renka’s bed and pulled her into a hug. He didn’t know why or what made him do it, but it seemed to calm his academy friend a little.  
“I… can’t,” Renka whispered eventually. “I can’t stop it.”  
Her heightened senses forced her to look out of the window. She heard the distant shouting from 13th Barracks. “K… Kaien.”  
…  
“Is there any news from the recon team, Rukia?” Ukitake enquired.  
“Not yet Captain. I haven’t heard anything.” She knelt down with a prepared tea for her Captain and Lieutenant.  
Suddenly the sound of panic came from outside.  
“Miss Miyako? What are you doing?” another Shinigami shouts before being cut down.  
Upon hearing the slaughter, Kaien and Jushiro ran outside, closely followed by Rukia.  
“Miss, Miyako?” Rukia called, her voice strained.  
The 3rd Seat gave a sinister smile as she turned to face them. When she ran towards them, her pace quickened. Her sights clearly set on Rukia.  
Kaien jumped in front to block his wife’s path. “STOP IT, MIYAKO!”  
Momentarily, her blade stopped in the air. The possessive Hollow inside her fighting against the host. She leapt away from the situation and into the woods again, leaving more injured Shinigami in her wake.  
Kaien’s eyes turned dark. “Please Captain. Allow me to go after her. That creature is using Miyako’s body as a host and is forcing her to turn her blade against her own comrades. I need to stop this.”  
Jushiro nodded. “I will come with you. Rukia, join us. Kione, Sentaro. Help any survivors the best you can until 4th get here.”  
“Yes, Sir.” Both subordinates bow before the Captain follows Kaien, with Rukia in tow.  
…  
At a clearing in the woods, Miyako’s uniform was strewn on the floor and a mid-level Hollow stood over it. The beast had six limbs and a barrage of tentacles protruding from its back. His mask was just as ¬¬¬disturbing.  
Kaien was already standing in front of the creature with his Zanpakuto drawn.  
Rukia began to grip the hilt of her own blade, ready to strike, when Jushiro held her back.  
“Captain, we have to help.” The young Kuchiki exclaimed.  
“Rukia,” Jushiro began, his face sincere. “There are two types of fights. Whenever we are in battle, we must be one of the two. The fight for life, or the fight for pride! It is important to know the difference. Right now, he is fighting for pride. His wife’s pride, his men’s pride and most importantly, his own personal pride.”  
Rukia looked up at her Captain before lowering her hand from the blade. “I understand.”  
By this point, the hollow had already lost 2 of its limbs to the Lieutenant’s sword, but it seemed to still have the upper hand.  
‘Wait, where did his Zanpakuto go?’ Rukia wondered.  
“You fell for it, boy,” the Hollow sneered. “Every night, the first person to touch my tentacles loses their Zanpakuto.”  
“Damn,” Kaien hissed under his breath. “I guess I’ll have to use brute force then.”  
He tore the tentacles from the beast. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. The creature had one current objective. To use Kaien as a new host and destroy him from the inside. With his remaining tentacles, he struck out and entered into the Lieutenant’s body.  
There was a sudden silence. A silence which spoke too loud in the dark woods. There were no screams. Not even a cricket sounded in the night. After a while, the silence was broken by Rukia.  
“Lieutenant… Kaien?” At first, there was no reply, so she repeated her call again. “Lieutenant Kaien?”  
“What is it, girl?” Not-Kaien looked over towards the young Shinigami. His face contorted with the Hollows sinister air. Voice as twisted as the rest of his being. “Why do you keep calling my name? Are you really that much in love with me?”  
The Shinigami-Hollow leapt into the air to where Rukia and Captain Ukitake stood on the tree branch. Teeth bared; he was ready to devour his host’s subordinate.  
“RUN, RUKIA!” Jushiro shouted as he blocked the Lieutenants attack with his blade. “GO, NOW!”  
Unable to think, Rukia had no choice but to obey her Captains order. She turned on her heel and flash-stepped her way back to 13th Barracks. Leaving Jushiro to fend off the impersonating Hollow.  
Jushiro ran in the opposite direction with the creature following closely behind. His calculating mind trying to figure a way of saving his second in command; if that was even possible.  
“I’ll save you the time-wasting. You think there may be a way to kill me without causing too much harm to your subordinate, right? Well you can’t. We have become one. You can’t kill one to save the other.” Not-Kaien snarled.  
“I see,” Jushiro said. In one swift move, he slashed Not-Kaien causing enough damage for the creature to take off in Rukia’s direction. Rukia; who should be at the barracks. Why is she standing there? “RUKIA!”  
The younger Shinigami didn’t hear her Captain. All she could hear was the sinister laughter of the Hollow as it lunged toward her a third time that evening. With her sword drawn, she knew she had no choice. The blade pierced the flesh of her former Lieutenant. The laughter became more like a spluttering cough as the rain began to fall.  
“Thank you, Rukia. Now I can leave my heart here,” Kaien whispered. His own mind back briefly before taking his dying breath.  
…  
Shuuhei made his way to 4th Barracks to see Renka. He departed too quickly the day previous. All because he was overwhelmed by the fact that his subordinate had to rely on him to prevent her getting hurt.   
‘You going to see her then partner?’  
‘I have to Kaze. I need to apologise to her. After all, it’s not her fault I was overwhelmed.’  
‘You did kinda bolt outta there a bit fast yesterday.’   
Shuuhei could sense his Zanpakuto trying not to snigger at his last remark.  
‘Hey, Kaze. I heard that Zanpakuto spirits can communicate with each other. Is that true?’  
‘Huh? I’ve never heard of anything like that. What are you trying to get at?’ The demonic spirit choked out.  
‘I don’t know. It’s just something I heard from Captain Kyoraku.’  
‘That old goofball?’  
Despite being a Captain, Shuuhei couldn’t disagree with Kazeshini’s observation. He chuckled as he continued on his way.  
When he got to Renka’s room, he saw Renji and Toshiro at either side and Renka with tears still tainting her cheeks. Without a second thought, Shuuhei ran over and sat by Renka. He graced his thumb across her damp cheeks before pulling her into a tight embrace. An embrace that Renka returned.


	13. Memorial

Chapter 13 – Memorial  
A few days after Kaien died, the Seireitei held a memorial service for their fallen Lieutenant. All the Shinigami assembled in the clearing outside Squad 13’s training grounds. The place where Kaien enjoyed spending most of his time both alone and with his subordinates.  
Jushiro stepped up to the front of the crowd to begin his address. His eyes still red from previously drawn tears. Shunsui accompanied him for support. After taking a deep breath, he began.  
“Shiba Kaien, was an incredible man. His bold courage and the ability to make the world light up around him made him easy to get along with. His acts were always selfless, putting his officers needs before his own. He mostly treated everyone equally, dividing his time to training each and every one of his subordinates on these very grounds.” Jushiro’s words caught in his throat and he felt it was time for someone else to speak. Looking over at the Captain of Squad 10, he invited him up to say a few words about his nephew.  
Isshin proudly took to the stand and glanced out at the enormous crowd of people. Each one had loved Kaien in their own way, either as an officer or as a crush, in the mind of some of the younger female Shinigami. A bitter smile reached his face.  
“Kaien was certainly a popular guy,” he chuckled. “I know a lot of you looked up to him as a sign of respect, but as a man, Kaien was more than a Lieutenant of the 13 Guards. He was a warrior for peace. For justice and for pride. His valour was what saved countless lives that night.”  
Rukia collapsed to her knees, her fists clenched tight into the fabric of her hakama. Although her Captain had spoken to her directly about the incident, she couldn’t bring herself to hear any more. Even if the words were all kind. She still felt the sting of guilt after she was the one to pierce Kaien’s flesh. She couldn’t stay there any longer. She had to get away. With a little help from Renji, she stood up and bowed respectfully before running from her place in the crowd. Tears still streaming down her pale face.  
“Rukia?” The red-haired soul reaper spoke softly so as to not startle his friend.  
“I…” At a loss for words, Rukia shook her head before pulling away from the taller Shinigami and ran further from the site of the memorial.  
…  
Despite being traumatised by the nightmare of Lieutenant Kaien’s death, Renka felt numb as the memorial drew to a close. Sat beside her was her own Lieutenant. His hand wrapped around her own in attempt to comfort her. Although she was there, Renka’s mind was elsewhere. In her inner world in fact, standing at the edge of her cliff.   
The Goddess floated down from the stormy sky before standing behind the Shinigami.  
“Renka, you haven’t slept in days. You can’t go on like this much longer, my child,” she voiced, concern clear in her tone.  
“Arashi. I don’t know how much more I can take. These nightmares are going to kill me.”  
“Have you tried talking to Captain Kuchiki? He did say that his wife, your mother, was the same. Maybe he could give you an insight of how to cope with them?”  
“NO!” Renka winced when she heard her voice come out harsher than she meant. “Sorry, Arashi. I didn’t mean to snap just then. It’s just… I’ve just found out that Captain Kuchiki is my father. How can I ask so much of him so soon?”  
Renka felt a squeeze of her hand. But when she looked down, Arashi wasn’t the one holding her. She glanced up again and saw Shuuhei, her inner world gone. She was back in the clearing where the memorial ceremony was being held.  
“You okay, Renka?” the scarred Lieutenant questioned.  
Renka couldn’t manage any words, or even sounds, so she shook her head. She wasn’t sure why. Maybe pain, grief? Whatever it was, Renka knew it wasn’t a pleasant feeling.  
…  
Later that evening, Toshiro took out his parchment as he had every night since becoming a Shinigami.   
“Hey, Hyorinmaru?”  
“Yes, Master Hitsugaya?” his Zanpakuto spirit replied, forming as an ice dragon in his room. “What is troubling you?”  
“Do you think I met Renka for a reason? I mean, could I help her in any way? Renji said that Renka opens up to me. But I still don’t feel as if I belong here. I don’t belong anywhere.”  
Hyorinmaru sighed as he wrapped his wings around the young boy. “Remember this well, young Hitsugaya. We are all like fireworks: we climb, we shine and always go our separate ways and become further apart.”  
Toshiro gave a weak smile as he listened to his Zanpakuto.  
“It may not be fully clear yet, but you mean a great deal to your friend.” Hyorinmaru glanced at the scar on Toshiro’s arm. The one he obtained by saving Renka from her own reiatsu a couple of days previous. “If it weren’t for you, she’d already be dead. That slash was supposed to shatter her soul-chain. And it would have done if you hadn’t blocked it.”  
The young Shinigami’s eyes grew wide. “So, her reiatsu really is trying to kill her?”  
“It certainly appears that way. Now, you should get some rest. Captain Shiba said he was going to personally train you tomorrow if I remember correctly.” The ice dragon grinned at his Shinigami master before returning to blade form.  
“Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Hyorinmaru.” Toshiro smiled back as he placed his Zanpakuto in the corner before getting himself ready for bed.  
…  
Renka was walking aimlessly along the dark streets of the Seireitei when she saw a light coming from the Kuchiki manor. She felt the subtle reiatsu of Captain Kuchiki over the wall. With a deep breath, Renka made her way over to the gate before letting her presence be known to the noble.  
“Captain Kuchiki. Pardon the intrusion but I was wondering if I might talk to you?” the young Shinigami asked waiting silently for a response.  
The silence almost became unbearable until Byakuya opened the gate. When he saw her, Byakuya noticed the lost look the young girl had in her eyes. He knew this wasn’t a professional meeting. The noble stepped aside so as to let Renka past.   
“Of course, Renka. Come in. Are your nightmares causing you trouble?” he asked already half knowing the answer. He could see that she hadn’t slept in days. Her eyes were dark and drawn, and her cheeks pale.  
“You said that your wife had nightmares also? Did anything come of them? I mean, did any of them actually… happen?”  
Byakuya guided Renka to sit by the pond where he was feeding the Koi. “Up until she passed away, Hisana had nightmares on a regular basis. She would often tell me that someone was in danger before anything actually happened.” He sighed. All the memories of Hisana flew back to him, drowning him in his guilt for not being able to help her.   
“When Hisana died in the World of the Living, she was sent to Rukongai. Not many people remember their time in the world of the living, but Hisana seemed to remember it all. She told me that she practiced witchcraft. Her ancestors were told of a curse. The nightmare curse, I believe Hisana called it. She told me that the first born in each generation of the family would suffer with it.” Byakuya looked barren into the pond as the red and orange koi carp rippled the water’s surface.  
“The nightmare curse?” Renka asked, wide-eyed.  
“I’m surprised that’s the only part which has caught you off guard. You’re not shocked by the witchcraft?” Byakuya questioned, a little stunned.  
“Not at all. I mean, I have heard about witches when conducting research on my prophetic nightmares. The two seem to link closely,” Renka revealed. She absent-mindedly stroked the luscious green grass growing by the side of the pond. “This curse, how can I control it? I understand that I’m mostly getting these dreams to protect others,” ‘Usually at the cost of my own life,’ she thought to herself.  
Byakuya took out a journal from his yukata and handed it to Renka. “This was Hisana’s journal. She wrote everything in here that she wanted to pass on to you.”  
Renka looked down at the purple book with silver detail. In place of where the title would be, in elegant brush strokes, it said:  
“Bya-sama. When the time is right, please give this to our daughter.”  
Renka smiled with tears in her eyes. “Father, thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”  
As she stood up, the world around her began to spin. The scent of the cherry blossom trees lulling her into a sense of semi-consciousness.   
“Renka!” Byakuya quickly caught her before she crashed back down to the ground.  
“I… I’m sorry, father.”  
The older Shinigami sighed. “You need rest. Stay here tonight. I’ll watch your reiatsu to make sure it doesn’t go out of control.”


	14. The Key to Happiness

Chapter 14 – The Key to Happiness  
Renka found herself overlooking the familiar cliff-edge of her inner world. The waves from the ocean below were calm and serene and the sky of perfect blue showed no clouds.  
“Renka,” the voice she heard was not one she recognised however she felt no reason to be cautious.  
As she slowly turned around, Renka saw a figure of another woman standing in front of her. The woman was around the same height, with black hair and indigo coloured eyes. She had the vague impression she had seen this woman before. She looked similar to Renji’s friend Rukia, but there were subtle differences.  
“Renka,” she spoke again. “You have grown into a beautiful young woman as I always knew you would.”  
Renka blushed at the strangers’ compliment, unsure of how to respond.  
The woman continued. “Your father and I are so proud of you. I am sorry for the hardships that have befallen you. You have faced more than your share and I’m afraid there will be many more for you to overcome.”  
‘Your father and I? Could you be…?’ “Mother? Is it really you?” Renka enquired, hopeful.  
The stranger smiled solemnly. “Yes, my child. It is me. I instructed Byakuya-sama to give you my journal when you found out about us and wanted answers. Everything should be in there. The key to your happiness lies your friends and family.”  
“Why us? I mean, this curse. Why does it affect us?” Renka questioned.  
Her mothers’ soft smile faltered for only a second. “I’m afraid I don’t know. It has been the bane of our family for many generations. I was hoping it would stop with me given that you were not conceived to living beings. Apparently I was wrong to assume such.”  
After lowering her head, Hisana continued. “Your nightmares, they started about 7 years ago, am I correct?”  
Renka nodded slowly in confirmation.   
“I thought so. When I died, the curse was passed on to you.” Hisana frowned before giving a small smile once again. “I am glad you have found Byakuya-sama. In him, you have found me. I will try to guide you as much as I can in the wiccan ways in order for you to control your reiatsu for yourself. I don’t have much time right now, but I will return to you in three nights. Attached to the inside cover of my journal, there is a pocket. In there, you’ll find a silver chain with a green aventurine attached to it. It should help to bring calm to your reiatsu for now. Keep it safe, my child.”  
Hisana began to fade from the area in which she stood, once again leaving Renka alone in her inner world.  
…  
Renka awoke as the sun was rising over the Seireitei, illuminating her surroundings. The subtle scent of cherry blossom flowed through the air as they began drifting towards the ground. And the soothing sound of trickling water coming from the fountain in the middle of the Koi pond. It took a moment for the refreshed 3rd Seat to recognise where she was. The Kuchiki Manor. She turned her head towards where she felt a presence.  
“Father,” she quietly spoke. “Sorry for causing you trouble last night.”  
“I imagine that was the most sleep you have had for quite a while. Are you feeling any better?” Byakuya questioned, his voice was softer than the usual tone it carried.  
Renka lay and wondered. It was true she hadn’t slept so well recently. In fact, she wasn’t sure if she had ever been so refreshed after slumber. She smiled. “I do. Thank you, Father.”  
Byakuya nodded. “I am glad. Your reiatsu peaked slightly last night but it was easily manageable. I do remember that Hisana’s reiatsu did the same if she was stressed. Calmness should help to alleviate your spirit energy.”  
It was at the moment Byakuya had said that, that Renka remembered about the green amulet inside the journal cover. She slowly opened it up, and sure enough, a small gemstone on a chain of silver was in the pocket.   
“She came to you, didn’t she? That’s the only way you would have known about the amulet,” Byakuya commented. “On one occasion when I went to the World of the Living, she came along with me and we found a curious little shop which sold various gems and journals. Hisana knew right away that you would most likely seek her help if you ended up having nightmares to the extent you do. That is when we bought the amulet and the journal.”  
Renka drew her fingers along the silver thread embossing the cover as she listened intently at the noble’s words.  
“Hisana told me that she would write down everything you would need to know in the book. I’m sorry I can’t tell you anymore. My knowledge of the topic is extremely limited. Although Hisana tried to explain much of it, I was unable to fully grasp a lot of it.” Byakuya looked sorrowful as he spoke. Regret sounding in his tone.  
“Thank you, father. You have done far more for me than I had ever hoped you would. For that, I am truly thankful.” Renka smiled. “I should go back to my quarters. I’m supposed to be training with Toshiro this morning under the watchful eye of our Lieutenants.”  
Byakuya nodded as Renka bowed. “Thank you for allowing me to stay last night, father.”  
“Of course. You are always welcome here.”  
Renka tidied the bedding before leaving to return to Squad 9 barracks with the journal in hand.  
…  
The alarm clock woke Toshiro. The white-haired boy groaned with disgust.  
“Great. Another god-forsaken day. How many must I live through?” he sighed exasperatedly.  
Despite being a Shinigami now and having more friends, Toshiro still didn’t feel as though he belonged anywhere. His mind still resorted back to the note he had written back in Rukongai the year previous.  
‘The only reason I’m still alive, is due to Renka. But she’s got enough going on right now. I can’t burden her with more.’ The thought of Renka adding to her own burdens snapped Toshiro out of his despair, all be it temporally. He had to get ready for training.  
After dressing, Toshiro made is way to the Captains office where Rangiku was waiting with a smile on her face.  
“Good morning, 3rd Seat Hitsugaya,” she called cheerfully.  
“Morning, Lieutenant Matsumoto,” he replied politely.  
Despite the drawn tone in the boy’s voice, Rangiku smiled, pretending not to notice. His air was just as lonely as it was the first time she met him though she didn’t press him to tell her about his worries.  
“All set for training? I can’t wait to see where you are.”  
With a feigned smile, Toshiro answered, “And I can’t wait to show you. My Hyorinmaru has been encouraging me to train with him in my inner world.” ‘Really, I just want to go back to bed and never wake up again’  
“That’s enough young master.” The ice dragon scolded. “You have more to live for than dying.”  
…  
Elsewhere, a similar conversation was occurring but with an easier tone.  
“Good morning, Lieutenant Hisagi, Captain Tousen.” Renka beamed as she made her way into 9th barracks Captain’s office.  
“3rd Seat Sojensu, good morning,” replied her Captain.  
“You seem happy today, Renka.” Shuuhei commented as he replicated a smile on his own face.  
“Really? I guess it helps that I’ve had a decent night’s sleep. I woke up with a new outlook on life.” Renka confessed.  
“Oh?” Kaname enquired.  
Renka nodded. “I feel as though I finally know where I belong. My duties as an officer of the 13 Guard Squads is now clear to me. I live to protect those who cannot protect themselves.”  
Hoping that she won’t say too much around Captain Tousen, Renka decided to then change the subject slightly. “You ready for training observation Lieutenant?”  
“After you,” Shuuhei nodded as he held open the office door. “We’ll see you later Captain.”  
As Renka and Shuuhei made their way to the training rendezvous, Shuuhei glanced over at his subordinate. Although, Renka was smiling, Shuuhei felt that something wasn’t quite right.  
“Are you sure you’re okay, Renka?”  
The dark-haired Shinigami looked up. “Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine.”  
“No nightmares last night?” Shuuhei asked. He was determined to get to the bottom of what the 3rd Seat was trying to hide.  
Renka continued to smile. “No, not last night. Best night’s sleep I’ve ever had.”  
Shuuhei thought for a second. “You said that you know where you belong. Does that mean, you found your family?”  
Shuuhei noticed a slight falter, almost a subtle flinch at the mention of ‘family’ but acted to dismiss it.  
Renka stayed silent for a moment before replying. “I have. Though I’m not sure if I’m ready for people to know just yet.”  
“Only certain people, or everyone?”  
Renka sighed. “I don’t know how he’ll react if he found out. I’m not sure I want to know.”  
At that moment, Renji appeared in front of them from round the corner.  
“Oh, hey you two,” the redhead exclaimed. “I was hoping to bump into you. My Captain and Lieutenant are lazing around today so I was wondering if I could come and train with you, or at least watch. I wanna see my sister in action again.”  
Renji slung his arm around the shoulders of Renka who just looked down to the floor. Quickly though, Renka looked up with a plastered smile on her face before replying. “It’s ok with me, but shouldn’t you be training with 3rd Seat Madarame and 5th Seat Ayasegawa?”  
“Nah, Ikkaku gave me the day off as long as I train twice as hard tomorrow.”  
Renka laughed. “Well I never thought I’d see the day you’d work twice as much just to have a day off in between.”  
She jabbed Renji in the ribs with her elbow unable to resist the urge to tease him.  
“If it’s all good with Renka, then sure you can come along.”  
“Awesome, it’ll be good to see how Toshiro can handle himself on the field too.”  
The three of them continued to walk and talk though the topic of Renka’s family didn’t make it back into the conversation. Shuuhei took note of this in his mind and decided it was probably best to leave it be until the two were alone again.


	15. Toshiro's Anguish

Chapter 15 – Toshiro’s Anguish  
Toshiro’s mind was elsewhere while training with Renka, something which his friend had taken notice of.  
“Hey, Toshiro. Wanna break?” Renka called as the younger 3rd Seat slumped to the dirt.  
“No. I can keep going.” The young boy rose to his feet again with his Zanpakuto gripped firmly in his hands. His determination was admirable, but Renka could sense that he was being reckless. Almost as reckless as Sojiro was during the 3rd years test battle.  
“Toshiro,” Renka said, as she consciously brushed her fingers along Sojiro’s band which she had clipped into her hair. “Please, don’t get too ahead.”  
The subtle reminder of the fallen friend snapped the white-haired officer out of his behaviour. He nodded and the two of them lounged onto the long grass close to where the observers were sitting.  
“You knew, didn’t you? That I’d be reckless,” Toshiro started. “That’s why you have Sojiro’s band on, isn’t it? To remind us not to be so rash.”  
“I’m glad you picked up on that.” Renka smiled for a moment. “It was mainly for my benefit. I don’t want to lose you. Especially like that.”  
Toshiro sighed, knowing that if he told her how he felt, he’d be adding to her anxiousness and burdens.  
“Toshiro? You don’t have to tell me, but I know something is bothering you. You know I’m always here when you need me.”  
A wry smile made it onto the younger Shinigami’s face. “I know. Thank you.”  
“Shall we carry on with training? Or do you want to see what our Lieutenants think?” Renka’s smile beamed.  
“I could go one more round. This time with our Zanpakuto powers? Loser makes the tea.” Toshiro laughed half-heartedly.  
“You’re on.”  
The two 3rd Seat officers stood up again and made their way back to the middle of the training ground.  
“Reign over the frosted heaven’s, Hyorinmaru.”  
“Strike, Arashi no Megami.”  
The storm clouds from both Zanpakuto’s gathered in the previously blue sky, shrouding the training ground in darkness. From Toshiro’s Zanpakuto, an incredible ice dragon rose, reaching into the clouds and coiling itself protectively around the young boy. Renka’s Zanpakuto transformed to a silver trident which flashed with the electrical charge of her reiatsu.  
“No holding back, Toshiro! Hit me with everything you’ve got.”  
“Same goes for you, Renka!” Toshiro called back.  
Shuuhei watched cautiously from the bank where he sat with Rangiku and Renji. He remembered how dangerous Renka’s power became if she lost control of her reiatsu. “Please be careful, Renka.”  
As the two 3rd Seat officers clashed blades, a strong force of wind pushed the both of them apart. The sheer power between them was immense.  
“These two would make a great team,” Rangiku mentioned. “What do you think, Shuuhei?”  
“Their power certainly isn’t one to be on the wrong side of,” the dark-haired Lieutenant commented.  
Renji watched with amazement at the young officers. His sister, who he had trained alongside not a month before was stronger than she ever had been. And Toshiro, the prodigal child genius. Both holding their own against each other. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an even match. These two are incredible.”  
“Indeed. It’s hard to believe that they have only recently graduated from Shino.”  
“Raitoningukēji!” From the trident, an electrical charge blocked an ice dragon which was barrelling towards Renka.  
“Sennen Hyōrō,” Toshiro called, and ten pillars of ice surrounded Renka. ‘I know she can get out of this. Her power is immense.’  
While the pillars closed in, Renka used her trident to try and keep the ice from crushing her. “Dammit.”  
“Renka, you have a way to escape this. You must use it.” Arashi’s voice sounded in Renka’s mind.   
“I can’t. Everyone will get caught.”  
“Not if you use Kido,” Arashi encouraged.  
“If this doesn’t work, I’ll never forgive myself.”  
“Then make it work. I wouldn’t encourage you if I didn’t think you could do it.”  
Renka sighed. “Okay. Harikēnshīrudo!”  
A hurricane of wind blasted the pillars, sending ice shards across the battlefield.  
“BAKUDO 81, DANKU!” Renka had flash-stepped to Toshiro’s side and constructed a Kido wall to block the shards of ice from piercing her young friend. Thankfully, the two accompanying Lieutenants and Renji were out of range of the explosive frozen attack.  
“Damn. What was that?” Renji shouted. ‘Was that the full extent of Renka’s power?’  
Once the three observers had regained their concentration, they made their way over to the two exhausted Shinigami, who were both now collapsed on the floor.  
Rangiku was the first to comment. “Very impressive.”  
“Remind me to never pick a fight with either of you,” Renji laughed.  
“Are you saying I’m better than you Renji?” Renka jabbed.  
“Ah, shut up, you.”  
“Great work you two. Both Captains will be pleased with your progress,” Shuuhei confirmed.  
…  
From the forest where he was cloaked by Kyōka Suigetsu, Aizen stood, watching and plotting. “Level 80 without incantation. This woman could be a formidable ally, or a troublesome obstacle on the path to victory.”  
‘I thought you wanted her dead, Sousuke.’ Kyōka stated.   
“Yes. But, using her to slay her friends would be much more entertaining.”  
The sassy Zanpakuto spirit laughed, much to Sousuke’s delight. ‘Oh. You truly are evil. It is a plot I am excited to see unfold.’  
…  
That night, Renka paused outside Toshiro’s quarters. ‘He was reckless today. What’s gotten into him?’  
She knocked on the door and called out to him. “Toshiro? You in there?”  
The young boy opened the door. “Renka? I thought you’d be resting. Come in.”  
Renka gladly took the invitation and stepped into the room.  
“Want some tea? I’ve just started brewing a pot.”  
The dark 3rd Seat nodded with a wry smile on her face. Tightly, she gripped her forearm where her old self-inflicted scars were hidden by her tekkou. “Toshiro? Can I ask you something?”  
Toshiro’s eyes widened when he realised his friend’s actions. “What is it, Renka? What’s wrong?”  
Renka sighed before continuing. “There’s something seriously bothering you isn’t there? I know you probably don’t want to tell me, but I can’t shake this feeling that something is going on.”  
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you,” Toshiro sat after offering a teacup to his friend. “It’s just that I don’t want my burdens to become yours.”  
Renka saw the conflicting pain in the boy’s eyes as he continued.  
“I still don’t feel as though I belong anywhere. I don’t know my purpose.”  
“Oh, Toshiro.” The anguish that the child Shinigami showed took Renka back to the night of their first battle. Toshiro had said the same back then. “I’ll help you to find your purpose. I know there is more to you than fighting hollows.”  
“Please, don’t, Renka. I can’t take this life anymore. Every night I go to bed hoping I don’t have to wake up in the morning,” Toshiro said aloud.  
The confirmation of his pain pierced Renka in the chest. “To…shi…ro.” Renka dug her nails tight into her fists, making small crimson droplets pool on her hakama.  
‘Are you really hurting that much, Toshiro? What can I do to help you?’ “Why won’t you let me help you?” she whispered.  
“You can’t. The only one you can help is yourself. I love you like a sister, and because of that, I’ll only end up hurting you.” Toshiro pulled Renka into a tight embrace, something he had never done before. The embrace lasted but a few moments before he pushed her away again and turned his back to her. “I’m sorry, Renka. Please just go.”  
“I can’t leave you like this, Toshiro. Don’t make me. You are my brother.”  
“RENKA! I said, go.”  
Reluctantly, and with tears forming in the corners of her eyes, Renka stood up and left the young boy to himself. But before she rushed out the door, she turned to face Toshiro once again.  
“I’m sorry, Toshiro. Maybe you’re right. We just end up hurting each other. Goodbye.”  
Until that moment, Toshiro didn’t think he could feel any worse than he already had.  
“Damn. Why did I have to go and say that to her?”  
‘You could always go after her.’  
“Hyorinmaru,” the boy sighed. “I can’t. Not right now. I’ve screwed up our friendship enough for one night.”  
…  
Renka ran back to her quarters with streaks of salt-water streaming down her face. When was the last time she cried like this? She didn’t even notice Shuuhei and Renji calling after her as she sped past them.   
“What was that about?” Renji wondered, concerned.  
The two looked at where their friend had run from.  
“Squad 10? Toshiro?”  
“You check on Renka, I’ll see Toshiro,” the redhead decided.  
Shuuhei nodded and the two of them went off in different directions.


	16. Home

Chapter 16 – Home  
Shuuhei knocked on Renka’s door, fully expecting to be ignored. ‘Renka was really upset. It’s not often she cries like that’  
“Hey partner. You just keep falling for the girl, don’t you?” Kazeshini chuckled.  
‘I’m not in the mood, Kazeshini. Just keep quiet.’  
Slowly, the door slid open. Renka’s eyes were red and puffy from crying. “Shuu…hei.”  
“Renka, what happened?” Shuuhei asked.  
The dark-haired 3rd Seat started to collapse to her already bruised knees when Shuuhei caught her and guided her over to the couch.  
“Toshiro isn’t happy,” Renka sighed. “He’s not coping.”  
Knowing that this was detrimental to the young boy’s future as a Shinigami, Renka’s eyes misted over with tears once again. “When we were in the academy, he told me he never wanted to become a Shinigami. He only went there to learn to control his reiatsu. Now he’s been thrown in at the deep end being a 3rd Seat.”  
Shuuhei listened intently, his own past catching up with him.  
“Everyone has their own reasons for joining,” Shuuhei eventually commented.  
“Shuuhei, you saw how reckless he was during training today, right? When I went to his quarters earlier, he told me he wished he were dead,” Renka cried. The acknowledgement of her friend’s words tore her apart.  
“He said that?” Shuuhei didn’t know what to expect, but this was hardly a surprise. He knew something was amiss.  
“We only end up hurting each other. He basically told me to keep away from him. That’s when I ran out.”  
Shuuhei pulled his arms tightly around Renka, not only to comfort her, but also to protect her from her own thoughts. He kept his arms around Renka as she calmed down enough to sleep.  
“You really were tired, weren’t you? Rest now. I’ll stay with you.”  
“Shuuhei. Do you hear yourself? Something’s changed in you. And it’s all because of Renka.” Kazeshini called in the Lieutenant’s mind.  
“You’re right. Renka has changed me. Seeing her exhausted and upset, breaks my heart. I never felt like this before. Even Rangiku never stirred these feelings inside me.”  
“You’re too soft. How can you be sure she won’t chew you up and spit you out?” the Zanpakuto questioned.  
“I trust her, Kaze. She doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would do that.”  
“I hope for your sake, you’re right. I ain’t gonna be there to comfort you if I am proved right.”  
“That’s not something I would expect from you anyway. You never were the comforting type.”  
…  
“Toshiro?” Renji called from outside his room. “I’ve just seen Renka running out of here. What’s going on?”  
“Dammit Renji. I screwed up.” The young boy opened the door. “I told her we only end up hurting each other.”  
“SERIOUSLY?” Renji began scolding him.  
“Don’t bother lecturing me. I’m already beating myself up over it. What’s worse, I said something else I shouldn’t have.” Toshiro looked down to the ground on which he stood before continuing. “I told her I wished I were dead.”  
“TOSHIRO! I warned you never to say that to her, didn’t I?”  
“Like I said, I screwed up. Now I’ve lost a great friend. My sister.”  
“Fuck.” Renji leaned against the wall in thought. “No wonder she ran out of here in tears.”  
“Renji, I’m already feeling lousy. Can you not make this feeling worse?” Toshiro sighed. All he wanted was to curl up and maybe never leave his room again.  
After a moment of thought, Toshiro asked, “How do I make this right? How do I get my friend back?”  
Renji glanced at the younger Shinigami with a frown on his face. “Renka has always been particular about those she gets close to. Once the trust-wall has fallen, it’s almost impossible to rebuild.”  
“I never pegged you for being insightful, Renji.” His Zanpakuto, Zabimaru snorted.  
Renji continued, ignoring the Baboon King’s comment. “You told her about suicidal thoughts. There’s no way you can take something like that back. Especially given the triggers it will have unearthed.”  
“Triggers? She’s thought about it herself?”  
“I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but it’s not only thoughts. Also a few attempts. The last hollow attack that put her in the hospital wing, that’s the most recent I’m aware of.” Renji stopped before he could say any more.   
“Renji? She really tried to, kill herself?” Toshiro’s eyes widened with horror. “I didn’t know.”  
“She’d kill me if she found out I told anyone. But the combination of attacks she used for Heathen, ‘Raitoningukēji’ and ‘Tenpesutoburasuto’ would have been enough to kill the hollow. But she decided to land a final blow. I think, she already knew that she’d be struck.”  
Toshiro clenched his fists in shame. All this time, he thought she was coping. “Do you know if anyone’s with her right now?”  
“Shuuhei should be. He did follow her to check she was okay.”  
“Renji, I gotta fix this. For Renka’s sake more so than mine.”  
“I’ll tell you now, it won’t be easy.”  
The young boy sighed. “I know. I’m gonna need your help.”  
“Honestly, Toshiro. I don’t know what I can do to help. Renka’s stubborn at the best of times. When she’s like this, even I struggle to fix things.” When Toshiro’s eyes began to mist over, the redhead pulled himself away from the wall he was leaning on. Gently he placed a comforting hand on the younger Shinigami’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry Toshiro. We’ll figure something out.”  
“You really think we can?” he asked, hopeful.  
“Pretty sure. We have Shuuhei on side as well, right? Renka seems to have a soft spot for that guy.”  
…  
Gin observed his partner from the corner of his eye. Sousuke was absent-mindedly petting Tsuku while Cherry lay with Gin. “Sou, you saw the training today, right? What are you thinking about?”  
“I did. I’ve got to say, that Sojensu girl is powerful. Level 80 proficiency in Kido, at least.”  
“I can tell you’re plotting something. Care to fill me in?” the younger Captain coaxed.  
Sousuke smiled. “With her power, I’m trying to decide whether to bring her to our side or to leave her on the side of destruction.”  
“If we recruit her to join us, it would be easier to do so while she isn’t close to many of the other Shinigami. She won’t join if she makes too many friends here.”  
Sousuke rose his head enough to glance at his husband. “That’s true.” ‘I know how difficult it was to draw you away from Rangiku.’  
“Being Kaname’s subordinate should help. Maybe he could train her away from the others. Train her to be dependent on us rather than her friends.”  
“Gin, you truly are a snake. You’d have never suggested that before I pulled you in.”  
“What are you saying?”  
“You were incredibly close to Matsumoto. It took a while for me to gain your trust. I imagine it would be the same for Sojensu.”  
“That is highly likely, from what I’ve seen, she’s already friends with Renji and Toshiro.”  
“She’s also close to the Squad 9 Lieutenant too. But you know me, I enjoy the challenge,” Sousuke smirked. His plans were already underway in his mind.   
…  
The following day, Renka awoke with Shuuhei’s arms still wrapped around her under the futon throw. “Shuuhei?”  
When there was no answer, she settled back into a restful state, laying her head on the man’s chest. The warmth and comfort of the Lieutenant’s body being impossible to keep away from. A deep blush crept onto her face. “What am I doing? Snuggling up to my Lieutenant. That can’t be right.”  
“Don’t deny it, Renka. You have feelings for the man, don’t you? Why is it wrong for you to admit it to him?”  
“Arashi, I can’t. I mean, he’s my superior. And a friend. No more than that.”  
“His arms around you suggest otherwise,” the Storm Goddess confirmed.   
“What have I told you about building my hopes up, Arashi?”  
“I’m not wrong though. Even his Zanpakuto has noticed a change in him.”  
“His Zanpakuto? You two can communicate?” Renka asked, shocked.  
“As of last night. Kazeshini made first contact.”  
Arashi guided Renka over to the stream where she placed her palm into the water, and the flashback from the previous night emerged on the surface.  
“Damn, I didn’t expect that to work.” Kazeshini commented as he found his way into Renka’s inner world.  
“Who are you?” Arashi asked, concerned. This was the first time someone or something made an appearance without permission.  
Kazeshini glanced over the Storm Zanpakuto, shocked. No one had ever spoken to him in such a cold tone before. “I’m Kazeshini. Shuuhei’s Zanpakuto. Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude.”  
The icy glare of Arashi began to soften slightly. “Shuuhei’s Zanpakuto? What are you doing here?”  
“Honestly, I didn’t know if it was true. Shuuhei mentioned a while back that Zanpakuto could communicate with one another. But the main reason I’m here is to ask if Renka is yearning for Shuuhei as much as he is for her.”

“Wait, Kazeshini said that? Shuuhei ‘yearns’ for me?” Renka interrupted.  
“Apparently so. Now can you stop denying yourself the possibility and tell him how you feel already?”  
“I can’t. What if Kazeshini was wrong? Or even worse, lying?”  
“Will you stop? Shuuhei really likes you. It seems everyone can see it but you. He will NOT reject you.”  
Renka could tell by Arashi’s tone that she was done with this shit.  
As though sensing Renka’s internal struggle with her Zanpakuto, Shuuhei tightened his grip around the younger Shinigami. The motion led to Renka tensing under his hold. “Renka? You okay?”  
“I don’t know,” Renka admitted. Although begrudgingly, she managed to pull herself away from Shuuhei’s chest to look him in the eye. Eventually, she plucked up the courage to elaborate. “Do you… have feelings for me?”  
Shuuhei never lost the eye-contact as he answered, “Yes. I do.”  
Renka’s eyes widened with the realisation. She was fully expecting a rejection. “Really?”  
“Is it that hard to believe?”  
“I…” Renka faltered. “You’re not messing with me?”  
“I would never do that. Not to you.”  
“Even after his confession, you still can’t be honest with yourself?”  
“Do you have feelings for me?” Shuuhei asked. He already knew the answer, but also knew he’d need Renka to confirm the reciprocation in order for them to move forward.  
Biting her lower lip, Renka found it difficult to give a verbal response. Slowly, she nodded.  
The two Zanpakuto spirits both sighed within their own inner worlds. “Finally.”  
“Feeling better?” Shuuhei smiled. The beam on his face was all that was needed to set Renka’s heart on fire.  
“Much better.”  
“Are you gonna talk to Toshiro today?”  
“I don’t know. What if he doesn’t want to talk?”  
“Will you stop worrying about ‘what if’s’. You’d never talk to anyone if you let the thoughts win.”  
Renka frowned. “Yeah, you’re right. It took me long enough to tell you how I feel. I gotta fix this.”  
Renka and Shuuhei left the room in search of Toshiro.  
…  
“Toshiro. You wanna sort things out with Renka? Now would be the best time to do it. You’ve both had time to think,” Renji encouraged the young Shinigami.  
“Yeah. I need to make this right.”  
They both left the confines of Toshiro’s room and made their way to Squad 9 Barracks. On the way there, they saw Shuuhei and Renka up ahead. Toshiro swallowed what was left of his pride as he continued alone towards his friend.  
“Renka?”  
Renka looked up at Toshiro and stopped. Although she was willing her body to take off in the opposite direction, she knew she couldn’t. It was as though Arashi was forcing her to stay put. Not to mention, Shuuhei wouldn’t allow her to leave either without at least talking to the young Shinigami.  
“Renka, I’m sorry.” Toshiro said as he got close enough. “I was stupid to say what I did. My words are the perfect example of how I just end up hurting you. But I can’t lose you. You’re the best friend I have ever had. More than a friend in fact, you’re my sister. And in all honesty, since you became my sister, I’ve felt less lonely. You helped me to see that I am worthy of the life I have. I couldn’t see it before, but you gave me a reason to live. Because of you, I finally know where I belong.”  
Both the Shinigami graduates looked at each other with teary eyes. Their vision blurring as a couple of stray pearls of water left the corner of their eyes.  
“Toshiro, I’m sorry too. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own problems, I didn’t see how much you were struggling. You were thrown in at the deep end after graduation. Six months training at Shino doesn’t prepare you well enough to be a 3rd Seat. Hell, even I find it difficult to cope and I had 2 extra years on you. Can you forgive me for being such a bitch?”  
“Only if you can forgive my being a jerk.”  
Renka smiled. “It’s a deal.”  
After a hug, the two renewed friends set off with Shuuhei and Renji to the Wolf Den to celebrate their friendship.  
‘So, this is where I belong.  
Thank you Rangiku Matsumoto. If it weren’t for you, I don’t know where I’d be right now. My reiatsu was too strong for me to control. Grandma wouldn’t have survived.  
Thank you Grandma. You raised me and encouraged me to go to Shino at Lieutenant Matsumoto’s request. You believed in me and knew all along that I belonged at this side of the Seireitei.  
Thank you Renka for showing me my purpose. If it weren’t for you, I’d have probably lost my life that day we fought the hollow. Not because of the hollow itself, but because I wouldn’t have made it through the night without ending my own life. Watching someone die right in front of my eyes was hard. I’d never witnessed anything like it before. You helped to guide me through it even though you had your own personal struggles with Sojiro’s death. When I saw the fresh scars on your arm, I realised that losing me would likely make it even more difficult for you to carry on.  
Then we became Shinigami, and as you said, we were thrown in at the deep end. The fact I never wanted to become a Shinigami in the first place held me back. But again, thanks to you and Renji, I became part of your family. I was too stupid to see it at the time, but that’s when I finally belonged somewhere.  
Thank you Shuuhei Hisagi. Because of you, Renka is happier now. Because she’s happy, that means she’s not thinking bad thoughts as much. You have saved her from herself.   
And Captain Shiba. Thank you for training me to be a better Shinigami than I ever thought possible. You do goof around as Lieutenant Matsumoto said, but you always know when to be serious, and for that, I am truly thankful.  
My friends. My family. My home. This is where I’ve always belonged.’


End file.
